Blob Thing Meets Pain, Watches Pain, But Suffers No Pain

Blob is in the middle of telling you about one of his stupendously exciting days out but he wants to take a day off from that to tell you about something that happened last week.

Blob's person is a transgender woman.  Blob is proud of her for the way she has allowed herself to be herself in the last few years.  He'll show you a picture of her soon.  Blob loves his person.  It's true that most soft toys love their people dearly.  But Blob smiles about the love far more than is usual for a soft toy.

As part of her life as a transgender woman, Blob Thing's person is currently undergoing facial hair removal.  She's had quite a bit of it and would have stopped but the health service in the UK funds a limited amount of treatment and she hadn't ever received that funding.  So she is having a course of electrolysis to clear much of the stubborn dark hairs on her top lip.  She's not worried about all the other remaining hair.  It's not noticeable if she shaves because it's all pale hair that laser treatment cannot remove.  She's not really that worried by the dark hair but it would be nice for her not to have it, and she's very glad that there is some funded treatment.

Last week Blob accompanied his person to an electrolysis appointment.  He wanted to see what went on.  And she was glad to have a friendly Blob to hold throughout the appointment.  She doesn't like electrolysis.  It hurts.  And sometimes her anxiety levels get very high.  Blob watched throughout the appointment and held onto his person.  He felt sorry for her having to go through such pain and felt glad that he wasn't hurting too.  He watched as a needle was stuck repeatedly into her face and an electric current passed through it.

Afterwards, Blob wanted a picture taken by the pain machine.  He has decided that he doesn't want any hair removal and he wants to keep all of his beautiful pink fur.

He wasn't the only friend his person had with her for the appointment.  She finds the treatment benches very uncomfortable and needs a pillow and for each appointment takes one of her other friends to be that pillow.  Usually she takes a friend called Amethyst - a friend who Blob wants to introduce to you on his blog in the coming days.  He wants to introduce you to all his friends and wants his person to introduce them on her blog too.

But that day - calamity - Blob's person had forgotten to take a friend.  And she didn't have time to go and get one from her house.  So she had to find a new friend.  Quickly.  She was quite panicked by the lack of a friend and by the prospect of lying on that bench and hurting not just from the needles and electricity but by the simple act of lying down without a pillow.

Blob and his person rushed through the town to charity shops.  And they were lucky.  They found a new friend.  He would need a bit of a wash at home but he looked lovely.  And he was just the right size for a pillow.  A new friend was bought.  For exactly one Pound.  Here he is.

It's a tradition that friends get a new name when they come to live with Blob's person.  This friend would have had another name in another house.  But with a new life comes a new name.  His person had a new name for her new life too.

Blob asked if he could be the one to name the new friend.  And he chose the name Pain.  Because the friend was bought to help his person endure some pain.

And so it was.  The new friend is Pain.  Pain the Bear.  Isn't he gorgeous?

Blob Thing Discovers A Hidden Ruin: Finchale Priory

Blob was having fun.  He thought his day couldn't get any better.

And then it did get better.  Much better.

He had to walk along a section of road, which wasn't a thrill for him but then the path suddenly turned from the road and descended down steep steps through a wood.  That felt a lot preferable.  It was good to be in a place where he couldn't see any cars.  Blob wondered what he might find at the bottom of the steps or whether they would go on for ever.  There did seem to be an awfully large number of them.

But the steps came to an end and as he approached the edge of the wood Blob Thing could see the river again.  He was glad.  He had been told his walk was along a river valley and he hadn't seen any sign of the river in ages.  He stepped out of the woods and looked at the sight.  It was beautiful and Blob gasped in amazement.  Not only was the river spectacular in the way it curved and in the way the light reflected from it he could see something else.

Across the river were some ruins.  It looked like a church and monastery.  Blob later learned that this was the ruin of Finchale Priory or Abbey, built in the 13th century.  Blob was quite staggered by its existence and the complete surprise of finding something so amazing hidden at the bottom of some magical steps.

He was very pleased to have accompanied his person on her walk.

Blob crossed a little bridge over the river and started to explore the priory.  He was quite surprised that such a place cost nothing to explore.  Nobody wanted to charge him any money to go in and they didn't even want to charge his person anything.  It's fair to say that she was quite excited to find the priory too.  It's true that her one page PDF map on her phone included the word ruin but she hadn't expected anything as wonderful as this.

Blob decided that it would be a good place to stop for lunch so he sat down in the priory grounds and looked out at the river and rested for a while.  It was so relaxing and because of their choice of lunch spot Blob and his person were alone and undisturbed with only the noise of the river and the birds, and with the sun shining on them.

It was a marvellous day.  Absolutely marvellous.  Blob says that everyone should go and visit the priory.  It's that good.  But he does warn that if you take a car someone will charge you some money to get out of the car park and it's a long walk to the bank if you happen to forget your purse.

It's fair to say that Blob Thing enjoyed Finchale Priory immensely.  He explored every last bit of it and he still has pictures to share on another day.  Just look at his smile.  Have you ever seen him smile more than this?

Blob Thing Goes Hiking Along The Wear Valley

Blob was having ever such a good day.  But there was much walking to be done and he knew he was going to be tired by the end.  Still, the weather was excellent and he knew that, unlike his person, he was not susceptible to sunburn.  There are advantages to being a blob rather than a human.  Blob was going to make the most of the weather and enjoy the warmth of the sun and the beauty of the landscape of this part of County Durham.

He doesn't want to say much about the walk and knows he's said an awful lot about the day already.  He wants to show you pictures though.  This first one was taken right at the start of the walk while still in Chester-le-Street, even before Blob knew that he would be going to such a place as Mars.  He likes holes in trees and decided that finding on so early in the walk was an omen for the rest of the day.  It is unclear how Blob Thing got so into omens and signs and portents.  Maybe it has something to do with his message from the angel.  Or maybe he's been reading just the wrong books from his person's shelves.

Blob wants to share this picture.  He was amazed at the size of this particular plant.  True, it's much smaller than the trees he passed but he was astounded by it and wondered how leaves could grow to be so big.

He especially asked for this picture to be taken because of his happiness that something like a leaf could support his entire weight.  Blob finds the world to be a mysterious, fantastically curious place.

Here he is again in the woods above the River Wear smiling and chuckling about having a little rest sitting on a branch.  His person couldn't sit there with him.  She had to keep standing and didn't get a rest.  Blob couldn't decide whether he should feel very sorry for her or whether it was immensely amusing.

Either way, he was happy.  The air smelled good, the shade of the trees made the light staggeringly, stupendously soft for his eyes, and the sounds of the birds in the trees filled him with such joy he thought he would almost burst.

He wondered why most people wouldn't experience a wood in this manner, why people are so often unable to find such contentment in the simple things that surround them.

The path rose out of the woods and the sun was hot on Blob's pink head, as it would be for the rest of the walk - many more miles.  Blob was glad that he would not be the one doing the walking.

He sat down in a field and looked across the river valley at the view.  It was beautiful.  So totally beautiful.  He could see for miles across the valley, far to the left towards Durham and he was massively excited by what he could see far away to the right of the view.  He could see his friend, The Angel of The North and he remembered what the angel had told him.










Blob Thing found something to be very strange indeed.  On all the footpaths - except when very close to riverside parks, towns, or some places that he'll tell you about soon - only four people passed him coming the other way.

Blob wondered why?  The weather was stupendous.  The places were beautiful.  The financial cost of seeing it all and experiencing such wonders was zero, nothing.  It was all free.  So where were the people.  Why weren't there more people out having the same happy time as he was.  After all, the route he was walking was on not one but two official routes - The Weardale Way and Cuddy's Corse.  Where were the people?  What were they doing?  And why are the shops so full when the stunning places are so empty?  He has wondered that while walking in other places too.  How can a shopping centre be more exciting than the view he had across the valley?

That's part of the view.  Durham International Cricket Ground is in the centre.  You probably can't make it out, but just to the left of that wire is The Angel of The North.

Blob thinks that humans can be very confusing creatures.  But he didn't mind that there were so few of them.  He liked the peacefulness of the day.  Blob was as happy as a blob can be.

Blob Thing Meets The Swans of The River Wear

Blob Thing left his Mars Garden and carried on walking.  Or at least being carried around while his person did the walking for him.  It's a good life being Blob Thing.  He could see a river ahead of him and he was happy.  He likes rivers.  He's already walked by rivers and is eager to tell you about those adventures too.  This river, his person told him, was the River Wear and they were walking in a riverside park in a place called Chester-le-Street.  Blob Thought it looked fantastic.  He had enjoyed the gardens and even the tunnel under the road he had to go through to get to the park had been made pretty.

Blob could see birds on the river.  He likes birds but finds them a bit scary.  What if one of them swooped down and picked him up and carried him away?  He likes his adventures but that would be an adventure too far, even for a blob as brave as Blob.  And what if one of the big ones pooed on Blob's head?  How would a blob ever get clean again?

These birds looked friendly though.  There were lots of ducks and Blob especially likes to hear ducks quacking.  He finds the sound extremely funny and every time he hears a quack he feels like laughing.  And then he saw some big white birds with long necks.  Blob had seen such creatures before.  Maybe one, or two, or even three of them.  But here there were so many and Blob found the sight incredible.  How could there be so many?  At one point Blob counted the seventy-eight that he could see.  His person told him that the birds were called swans.  Swans.  Seventy-eight swans.  Blob was amazed and asked if he could go and see them close up.  Would they be friendly?

Blob and his person walked down to a path at the water's edge.  There were some other people there and they seemed quite scared of the swans and didn't want to get close in case they got pecked by the swans' beaks.  They had dropped a packet of crisps and thought that one of the swans was carefully guarding the packet.  How could they get their crisps back from an animal that might be terribly fierce?  Eventually one of the people slowly crept past the swan guard and collected the crisps.  Blob was pleased to see that no pecking happened and that the swan looked particularly bored by the whole thing.

Blob was braver though.  He knew he might get pecked but wasn't afraid.  He knew it wouldn't hurt much and the swans would soon decide that he wasn't good to eat.  So he got close, very close and sat himself down by the swans.

So close.  It felt wonderful to be near such a majestic bird as a swan.  Blob was satisfied.  This had been a good day out.  He'd been to Mars, played chess, and now he was with the swans.  A good day indeed.  He thought after such excitements it must be over.  But his person told him that they were only at the start of their walk.  Blob was amazed.  Again.  There was to be a lot of amazement on this day.

Blob wants to share this picture.  It's of his person.  Blob wants to show her face in his blog.  But she's not quite ready for that.  She's promised Blob Thing that one day soon he can show a picture of the two of them together.  He's happy about that.  He likes being out with his person and enjoys the time they spend together.  So here is Blob's person, including part of her boot.

Blob left the swans, smiling broadly about his experience.  He could still hear the ducks quacking too and he laughed so much.  He walked through the rest of the Riverside Park and decided he would want to return sometime.  There's a play area.  Fields.  Somewhere for his person to buy ice cream.  And out in a quiet corner, a most wonderful sight:  A bucket swing.  Made for sharing.

Blob's views of Chester-le-Street had been raised up high by the whole experience.  He has told his person to go back and explore some more.  And he's beautifully excited.  Because she has agreed.  They will return.

Tomorrow Blob will tell more about his day.  He's got a lot to talk about.  It's going to take quite a few days because the day was so packed.  He knows he is a very lucky blob.  Other blobs - if there were such things and he wasn't the sole member of his blob species - might just be left to sit on a bed or on a shelf and wouldn't get to experience the world.  That doesn't mean Blob's friends are sad with their lives.  They are all loved and have a good time with each other and play lots of games with each other whenever they can.  But Blob knows he is the most fortunate blob in the world.

Blob Thing Goes All The Way To Mars For A Game Of Chess

Blob Thing came out with his person on another adventure.  He's got such a lot to tell you about it.  Such a lot.  It's going to take him a week because he did so many things.  He wants to tell you about all the other things he's been getting up to recently but he's so excited and satisfied with his most recent adventure that he can't wait and desperately wants to share his news about it.  His other days out are just going to have to wait.

Near the beginning of this adventure, Blob Thing spotted a sign.  "Mars Garden."

He said to his person, "Ooh, ooh, please.  Can we go to Mars?  I've never been to another planet.  Please."

His person, being a sensible woman - at least some of the time, told Blob that it wasn't another planet.  It was just a garden, named after a planet.  She reminded Blob that he had already had his picture taken that day in front of a strange domed building.  A temple that wasn't a temple, named after the Sun.

It did look interesting though with tall circular hedging and she agreed that Blob could pay a visit.  Blob didn't really mind that he wasn't going into space.  He could use his imagination, an imagination powerful enough that a patch of grass could become a trip across thirty million miles of empty, airless space riding in a specially made Blob space ship rather than riding in a pocket.  Blob enjoys imagining.  He's really very good at it.

On arriving at Mars, Blob was very surprised to find a raised platform with a metal chess board on the top.  Blob likes chess.  A lot.  Or at least he thinks he does.  He has seen books about it on his person's shelves and has even read about the game on a day when he stayed at home and his owner went out.  She was very apologetic about forgetting to take him but Blob said he had a good day resting and reading and had learned far more at home than he would have done if she had taken him out to some boring place again like she usually does.  It has to be agreed that Blob's acceptance of the apology was not without some element of grumpiness.  Grumpy but still smiling.

Blob sat on the platform and imagined himself playing space chess against Mars versions of some of the great players.  Blob would use his immense intellect and skill and would beat them all.  He would trounce Bobby Fischer so completely that Fischer would flee to the Mars America, miserable.  And no matter how many Mars Russians were sent, Blob would beat them all.  Even the Martian Kasparov.

Oh yes, it didn't matter how good Kasparov's Sicilian was, Blob would find a way through his defence and win.  Blob was incredibly happy about the thought of winning the Mars World Chess Championship that he bounced up and down excitedly on the chess board.  To beat Martian Kasparov.  What a dream.

Blob moved on from the imagine chess and walked round the garden in between the concentric circles.  And then he saw it.  A thing.  That's what blob called it.  A thing.  At the centre of Mars.  He didn't know what it was but wanted to sit on it.  His person later looked up the thing.  The artist says it's "part chess piece, part medieval mace."  So in effect, it is a thing.  At the centre of Mars.  Just like blob had said.

Here he is, Blob, enjoying Mars.  He was fortunate.  He couldn't climb to the top himself and it's quite a tall sculpture.  His person could only just about reach to put him up there and she had to climb on the sculpture to do it.  He was so pleased to be there, surveying his planet as if he, Blob Thing, were the King of Mars - or the elected president because he doesn't really believe that an unelected monarchy is a form of just government.

Blob believes in democracy even if the electorate can so easily be manipulated into making all kinds of stupid decisions in elections and referendums.  Even if politicians and powerful media owners twist truths and use fear and sometimes lies to win elections rather than using honesty, intelligence and reason.  Blob sees the flaws and misuses of democracy but he still believes in it.

Blob Thing Gets Up Close And Personal With an Angel

Blob Thing loved The Angel of The North but did spent quite a bit of time wondering what had happened to the angel's sword.  However was it going to do any smiting without its sword.  His person had to explain that not all angels have swords and there were even angels around before swords were ever invented.  Blob Thing was pleased to learn that the vast majority of angels don't go around killing people.  He stopped worrying that one day he would wake up to find an angel sword had ruined his dress.

Once he had learned that The Angel of The North is a friendly angel Blob wanted to go and meet the angel even more.  He asked if he could touch the angel and his owner said that would be okay.  Blob could even SIT on the angel.  Blob would have been bouncing with excitement and anticipation and you could almost see his smile grow even larger than normal.

He was taken to the angel and sat there proudly and sang to himself a happy improvised "I'm sitting on an angel" song.  He asked for his photo to be taken on the angel so you could see the angel with Blob.  His person warned him that he would only be a tiny pink spot on the photo but Blob wasn't worried about that.  He wanted the photo.

So here is Blob Thing sitting on The Angel of The North.

Blob's person showed him the photo and he had to agree that it wasn't the best photo of him that has been taken.  He asked for another photo in which he would be the main focus.

So here is Blob Thing sitting on The Angel of the North.

Blob was happier with that picture.  But he thinks it a shame that you can't tell what he's sitting on.  Some blobs are never satisfied!

He had a wonderful time visiting the angel.  As we left he kept smiling about it and he talked about how he would tell his friends about it when he got home.  Yes, Blob has friends.  One day he will tell you about them.

Later Blob Thing told his person a secret.  He wasn't meaning to but he couldn't hold it in.  He said, "The Angel of the North spoke to me."

Blob's person was a little cynical about that.  After all, angelic messages are rare even in a book like The Bible.  Also - and this is something Blob hadn't been told - the Angel of the North isn't a real angel.  It's a sculpture made of metal not a messenger from God.  So how could the angel have spoken to Blob?

Blob quoted Scripture to his owner and said, "With God, ALL things are possible."  Blob also reminded his owner that in most cases a small pink soft toy wouldn't be able to communicate and wouldn't be able to quote Scripture to his person.  His person had to admit that God had a point.  She didn't necessarily believe the Bible but did believe in possibilities and in overcoming things that feel almost impossible.  And she did understand that her conversations with Blob weren't quite the usual thing.  So maybe the angel had spoken to Blob.

With some interest, Blob's person asked him, "So what did the angel say to you Blob?"

Blob looked at her with happy eyes and smiled and sighed contentedly.

"The angel said, "You're a Blob, unique.   Be proud of yourself.  Be proud of who and what you are and live your life in the wonder of your own being.  Be you, love others, and don't let anyone make you feel bad for living a life of freedom and love in whatever way is right for you.  Let go of the things you can't do.  Those things are for others.  Embrace what you can do.  Embrace your desires, your dreams, your passions and let your creative spirit flow.   If people look down on you for being a Blob Thing rise above them and know that you are beautiful, you are strong and you are as valuable as any soft toy could be."

Blob said that he knew that he could have read such things in a book but it was the angel who said them.  He said that the angel had told him other things, things that he wasn't allowed to share.  Things about his future and about his person.

He couldn't give details.  But he beamed at his person and said, "I have exciting times ahead.  And you have exciting times ahead.  And together we will have exciting times too."

Farewell strong angel.  And thank you.

Blob Thing Gets Angel Anger and Goes For a Walk

Blob Thing hasn't been pleased with his person today.

He very much wanted to share more photos of The Angel of The North today and that exciting moment when he got to sit on an actual angel.

But his person has said no.  His person says to wait another day before sharing those photos.  Because life isn't all about angels.  Life is a many faceted jewel.  And some of the facets are deeply encrusted with mud.  Or at least with the earth.  She said that he shouldn't just think of the angels of heaven, you of the life of the world too and the deep joy he gets from living as fully as a small pink blob is able to.

Blob wasn't pleased about that.  He so much wanted to share the angel pictures.  Because ... angel.  That was a good enough reason for Blob.  He got quite cross about the whole thing and was so adamant about sharing the pictures that he and his person nearly came to blows about it.  But he soon calmed down and the smile was restored to his face.  If indeed the smile had ever left his face.

His person said that Blob Thing had to remember all the other things that he's been getting up to since he started adventuring.  And she showed Blob her own blog from a couple of days ago and reminded him of the time he had gone walking in Chopwell Woods.

Blob Thing had to agree that it was a good day out and that he had enjoyed seeing the trees and the river valley and that it had been calming to be in a place where he couldn't hear the traffic.  He decided that maybe his owner had a point and thought about how many cars and lorries he could hear near the angel.

He finally agreed and said that he was prepared to wait another day before sharing the excitement of meeting an angel and that he might be even more excited about it if he waited.

He also revealed to his person that the angel had given him a message and that it wasn't about smiting the unbelievers.  She doesn't know what the angel said because Blob Thing hasn't told her yet.  She hopes it's something meaningful because there will now be people waiting eagerly for the revelation.

So here he is, Blob Thing enjoying a Bank Holiday Monday in the woods.  He would like to go back sometime because Chopwell Woods are worthy of repeated visits.  But he knows he has plenty of other places to explore.