Blob Thing Goes Gardening With A Herbalist In Morpeth

Blob Thing speaks:  [Honest, he does.  People don't seem to believe me that he is the one writing all this and that I am just the one typing it for him.  He's very clever.  For a soft toy.]

I've asked my person what I should talk about next.  She didn't know.  She would probably prefer it if I didn't talk about anything for a while so she can write the things she wants to write.  My person has her 250th blog post to write which is quite a milestone.  She also wants to finish writing the draft of a Christmas story that my creator got her to write.  [No.  You know that isn't quite true Blob.  You know she only gave me a half sentence prompt and I did the rest.  And you know she only gave me the prompt because I asked her to.  So don't blame your creator.]  That doesn't matter.  The point is that you're writing a story and I think you would prefer to be doing that right now not typing my words.  [Well you're right there Blob.  So get on with it.]

Last night we had a look at some photos of my adventures and we made a list of some of the adventures that I haven't talked about yet.  I didn't sleep well last night and they don't make sleeping tablets for soft toys so at three o'clock I found myself thinking about it.  Should I write about the beach at Alnmouth?  Should I write about the Sunday Assembly?  How about the time Winefride and I did a fun dance in a cafe with one of my creator's friends?  There's even a video of that one.  Or maybe I should finish my description of Greenbelt because I want to do that.

No.  None of those things today.  I have decided to write about an adventure day I had five months ago.  Five months ago tomorrow to be exact.  That was the day my person took us to explore some of Morpeth.  The first of July.  The start of the second half of my first year of life.  Ooh. Wow.  That's exciting.  It's just a month until my birthday.  I wonder if I'll get any presents.  My Morpeth adventures seem good to write about because tomorrow I'm going to be going back to Morpeth and I think I'm going to be fed cake too.  This time Winefride will be there too.  I hope she likes it.

This has been a year in which we have walked to Morpeth - another adventure for me to write about and there's a video from that day too.  It's of me, Winefride and my person playing on a slide.  It was a wonderful day and we got to eat strawberries at the end of our walk.  Also this year we have walked from Morpeth.  That was one of my first ever adventures.  Just about.  My person took me out with her and then she forgot that I was there so I remained marooned in her bag until over half way through the walk.  Don't worry though - I've made her go back again so I could see the things I missed out on first time.  And this has been a year in which we have walked in Morpeth.  That was a very good day too and we discovered lots of pretty things.  I wanted to play on the swings in Morpeth but it was raining at that point and my person didn't let me.

We arrived in Morpeth on the bus and walked down the main street to the river.  On the way we passed the Bagpipes Museum.  Yes.  It's true.   Morpeth has a museum devoted to bagpipes.  We went in and had a quick look but I have to say it wasn't the most exciting part of the day for me.  Bagpipes are okay in their place, which isn't necessarily in the main shopping street of Newcastle.  I like some pipe music and we even own some CDs with pipes of different kinds.  My person is telling me that we should listen to her Kathryn Tickell and Davy Spillane albums again.  I hope she spelled those names correctly because I wouldn't have been able to do it.

Then we crossed over the river.  We didn't use the busy road bridge because behind the bagpipes we found a quiet footbridge.  My person took pictures from the bridge.  When she blogs about the day she can include them all.  I don't want to post them because none of them show my happy face.  I am happy to show some pictures that aren't of me.  But not all of them.

Here's one not of me.  Taken from near the bridge.  This shows the River Wansbeck.  It's a weir.  It's been at least two days since I last included a picture of a weir.

We followed a little lane from the bridge and entered a park.  This was Carlisle Park and I got a bit confused because we weren't in Carlisle.  I want to go and explore Carlisle one day.  It's a very long bus ride away but that's no excuse and my person should take Winefride and me to see it.  Next year.  When it's a bit warmer.  All we would have to do would be to get the bus to Hexagon and stay on the bus.  I want to go back to Hexagon too.  Maybe next time I'm there I can be very brave and go into the prison even though that's a very scary place.  Yes person, you must take us to Carlisle.  It won't cost you anything.  So don't make excuses.  I promise we'll behave on the bus and I'll help you look after Winefride if she gets bored.

We walked up a hill in the park and I started to feel good about being in Morpeth.  Already the park was proving to be a richly rewarding revelation, reaping righteous rewards.  [Er, Blob ... I think perhaps you're taking alliteration a bit too far there.]  Having walked up the hill we looked across to a big castle.  At least it looked like a castle.  But my person says that it isn't a castle at all.  She says it used to be the court house.  Not any more.  Now it's filled with apartments.  Expensive ones.  The kind of apartments where your towels are washed for you and someone makes your breakfast.  I think it should be a castle though.  A castle with a very strict court that makes you clean the roof and look after the park just for dropping one sweet wrapper on the pavement.  I dread to think what the penalties might be for dropping a takeaway wrapper.

We had just walked up a hill.

And we stood at the top of lots of steps.

But what was at the bottom of the steps did look interesting.  So we climbed down all the steps.  If we had known that we were going to end up at the bottom of the hill we might not have walked to the top of it.  We might.  People do that kind of thing.  Anyone climbing a big hill knows that in the end they will be back at the bottom of the hill.  They do it anyway.  For fun.  For the view.  For the satisfaction of having climbed to the top.  I want to go up some big hills one day but it's difficult to reach them from here on a bus.  My person should work out how to get to some bigger hills next year.  Perhaps she will go to a bigger hill one day when staying in the Manchester home.  There must be bigger hills near there that she can find using a bus.  Or even a train.  I like trains.  I don't think I'll ever climb Everest though.  But wouldn't it be amazing if I did?  Just think of all the photos I could bring back from the Himalayas.  I could be the first small pink soft toy to climb Everest and I would get in the record books.  I could be.  But I won't be.  We haven't even finished exploring Tyne and Wear.  It's a bit soon to think about exploring Nepal.

And we did find something very nice indeed at the bottom of the steps.  We found a pretty garden named after a man called William Turner.

The plants in the garden are mainly ones that William Turner put in his book.  Turner was born about 508 years ago in Morpeth.  He didn't stay in Morpeth as an adult but Morpeth is proud that he was born there.  He wrote "A New Herball" the first clear survey of English plants.

Turner also wrote a clear survey of wines.

Here are some pictures of me enjoying the garden named after him.  It was very nice.  I preferred being by the river later because I like rivers but this garden was pretty and I liked it.

Here are some more facts about William Turner:

He was famous for teaching his dog to steal hats from the heads of bishops.

He published the first printed book about birds.

He was imprisoned for preaching without a licence.  He later got a licence and became a priest.  And then he was thrown out of the priesthood for his views.

He died at a place called Crutched Friars.

After exploring Turner's garden I felt I needed a rest.  Especially as I knew my person was about to make me climb back up the hill.  There was a highly suitably place to sit and I basked in the sunshine, taking advantage of it because I didn't think I'd be seeing much more of it.

I was glad that my person had taken me to Morpeth.  It was proving to be a very surprising place.  The best was yet to come.  Stepping stones.  I like bridges.  And I like stepping stones.  I am glad that I'll be going back to Morpeth tomorrow.  I'm looking forward to it and I think I'll get to see the stepping stones again too.  I like stepping stones.

There.  Finished.  Now my person can get on and do some of her own writing.  If her fingers aren't too tired from doing all of my writing.  Okay my person.  We can stop now.



[1723 words]

Blob Thing Meets Lots Of Animal Friends By The River In Manchester

My person is a silly woman sometimes.  I don't think it's her fault.  She just is silly.

This morning she took Winefride and me to a church fair.  She planned it all carefully.  I think we were going to have a good time and that we would meet some of the people my person used to go to church with when she was a preacher man and when she used to write sermons sometimes.  That was a long time before I was born.  She believed the words she said in her sermons.  I've read a couple of them.  Some of what I've read I agree with.  All the bits about being good to each other.  Some of it I don't agree with.  Back then she still thought that believing in Jesus - and believing lots of things about him - were an essential for her life and for the futures of other people too.  She doesn't believe that now which is good because I think I would end up having lots of arguments with her if she did and then Winefride would get upset.  My person still quite likes Jesus though and still owns more Bibles than most Christians.  Strange.

Anyway.  I was telling you how she is silly.  You might think she's silly for believing the kind of things she used to believe.  You might think she's silly for not believing it now.  You might think she's a very silly person for allowing me to dictate all these things about her and to happily keep typing about her own silliness without telling me off and chucking me across the room.  But it's okay.  Most of the time she doesn't mind being as silly as she is and she is learning to laugh about it.

Today we went to the fair.  My person checked the time of the fair.  She checked the date of the fair.  She read those details.  She checked again.  And again.  She must have checked half a dozen times so that we would know exactly when to leave the house.  She had worked it out to the nearest minute.  Nothing was left to chance at all.  Nothing.  My person can be like that.  Work it out thoroughly so that she knows exactly what belongs where and when it will get there.  When a journey goes wrong it can be majorly stressful for my person.

We went to the fair.

And we arrived at exactly the right time.

But we arrived at exactly the wrong date.

Yes.  My person is silly.  She took us to the fair a whole week early.

She had read the date over and over again.  But it was in her head that the fair was today.  After all, a fair somewhere else was today so surely this one would be too.  Her head did that.  And once done, no amount of reading and re-reading the correct information could change the wrong information engraved within her.

That's the way her brain works.  Fortunately she laughed about it, even though she had missed the other fair to go to the one that wasn't on.

Yes, my person is silly.  Frequently.

Enough about her silliness.  I want to share a little more about my exciting day out when we walked along the River Irwell.

I'll let you in on a secret now.  I have walked the second half of this walk again.  A couple of months ago my person took me back there and we took Winefride too.  We walked along the river again.  A long section was hard.  The first time we walked along one side and it was very muddy under the trees.  The second time my person decided that the route along the other side would be better.  It wasn't.  It was worse.  But we made it.

And then after our exciting walk - since my creator wasn't going to be home for hours - we went to a place called Farnworth.  We all like Farnworth.  The chip shop has good chips.  The cafe is very friendly and doesn't play horrid music.  There's a shop selling very rubbish imported toys, bad enough to disappoint even the least discerning child.  We like looking in that shop.  And most importantly, there are some very good charity shops.  My person has always bought at least something in Farnworth.  That weekend we bought a unicorn just like my friend Adduno and we gave him to my creator.  Last time we went my person bought a skirt which made my creator very jealous indeed.  My person says it's ultra-swish.

And then on that day, after Farnworth we went to visit a shrine.  My person was very silly there too.  We walked into the shrine and people were praying in front of what is either the body, blood, soul and divinity of Jesus or a wafer depending on your beliefs.  They were being silent.  And then my person failed to turn off her phone properly and suddenly, at the highest volume the phone could manage, came some not subtle at all Southern blues-rock by a band called Gov't Mule.  My person is silly.

But that's not the day I want to tell you about.  Maybe one day I should take pictures of Farnworth and show you what a wonderful place it is.  I could go to a big park there too and show you that.

On the day I'm telling you about I had just avoided being eaten by a wolf and then met some very spiritual worms.  It will be obvious to you that I preferred one of these experiences to the other.

We left the worms behind and I met lots more creatures and they let me have my picture taken with them.

First I met a caterpillar and lots of ladybirds.  I liked the ladybirds because they had arranged themselves in the right order.  They should have been in a straight line too but at least they were in the right order.  There were nine of them and they had different numbers of spots and they were using their counting skills well.  My favourite ladybirds were the second, third, fifth and seventh because those are prime.  I also liked the eighth, because he was a cube number and he also proudly told me about being part of the Fibonacci sequence.  The sixth said that he was a much better ladybird because he was perfect and because it's much better to be a triangle than a cube.  But how can you make a judgement like that?  I like triangles.  And I like cubes.  Which is better?  Neither.  They are both needed.  It's like asking whether an autistic person or an allistic person is better.  Neither.  And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Walking onwards I met a duck.  I'd already ridden across the river on the back of a black swan that day so didn't need to ride on the back of a duck but it let me sit on its head and we walked around for a while quacking together and singing an amazing song about a duck.  Nooooo.  Not the one with the lemonade stand.  The duck didn't like that one and said it got quite annoyed because people kept wanting to sing it.  A tip for you:  Never sing the duck song to a duck because it's likely to bite you on the nose if you do.  A second tip for you:  Never sing the llama song to a llama.  I haven't actually met a real llama but I think llamas must be very fed up with hearing that song.  Try to be original if you meet a llama.  Sing them a song about Jesus.  Sing them a song about a different Jesus who joined the circus and worked part time as a pancake juggler, part time as a daredevil motorbike rider, and part time as the woman taking the admission money.  This different Jesus is a girl Jesus you see.  Or both a boy and a girl.  Jesus is big enough to be both.  If other humans can be both then it would be no trouble at all for Jesus.

My person is shaking her head at me.  Because she can't quite understand how I got from meeting a duck to talking about a gender-fluid Jesus in a single paragraph.  It wasn't hard.  I got there because I am extremely clever for a small pink soft toy.  I'm far more clever than my person expected I ever would be.  Sometimes I say things that she wouldn't ever think of.  Good going for a toy.  She is amazed sometimes because she thinks it is a simple matter to have this blog.  Just share a picture like this - of me riding on a dog - and that's that done.

But no.  Because I have my own voice and my own being and I like to use it.  Sometimes when we're out my person lets me choose what we're going to do too.  She would never have ridden on the narrow gauge railway if I hadn't said we should.  Next time we go I want her to spend the extra money so that I can drive the train.  They allow that.  And I want to drive a train.  Not many small pink soft toys get to drive trains, or ride on swans, or have blogs, or tell the world how silly their people are.  I am the luckiest small pink soft toy in the world.  By a long way.  And I've got Winefride too.  I am the luckiest.  And Winefride is the second luckiest.

And then I got to ride on another dog and that was very exciting indeed.  Because the second dog was a racing greyhound.  I had to hold on very tightly because she ran so quickly.  My person couldn't keep up at all.  I think the greyhound was showing off a bit.  Like I was in the last couple of paragraphs.  She wanted to show me how fast she was and she ran all the way back to Manchester Victoria station, where I had started my walk.  That was a bit worrying because I was now miles away from my person and that's a frightening prospect unless I am at home.  Fortunately the greyhound listened to my request to run back along the river and so we got back to my person who was still standing there looking very anxious and panicky indeed because she thought she might have lost me.  She already had her phone out and was going to phone the police to report a missing soft toy.  She gets scared if she thinks she has lost me and checks regularly to see that I'm still there.  I don't know how she would cope if she did ever lose me.  It doesn't bear thinking about.

After the excitement - and worry - of the greyhound, sitting with this calming creature was a big relief.  She looks a little bit like by creator's cat.

I met one more animal that day.  An owl.  Owls are meant to be particularly wise creatures aren't they?  This one wasn't.  This one was as dotty as a fruitcake.  I couldn't get him to say anything sensible at all.  But he did make me laugh as he danced around the path and sang about hobgoblins and tigers and sea anemones and the light of the moon.  A very mad owl.  But harmless and very cuddly.

We left the owl and continued our walk along the river.  For a while we saw no more unexpected animals.

The river was beautiful.  It would get more beautiful.  It would also get a lot more wet.  Well, the river wouldn't get more wet.  You can't get much more wet than a thing that is water.  But the air would get more wet.  Soon after this it began to rain.  And it didn't stop.  It rained more and my person - who had no coat - got quite wet.  She didn't mind.  And neither did I because when it got too wet I went and hid in the bag.

Next time I'll tell you more about my river adventure.  I'm afraid that there's another very frightening thing to talk about.  But don't worry.  I survived.  I am still here to tell you these stories.  It's okay.



[2056 words]

Blob Thing Nearly Gets Eaten By A Wolf Along The River Irwell

Blob Thing says:

It was a very long time ago.  They were good days, days of sweet innocence.  I was less than six months old.  Just about.  I had been having a very good year since being born on New Year's Eve in a house in Greater Manchester.  The year had started slowly.  I had lived in that house until being collected by my person.  She didn't know quite what to do with me because she had never had to look after a blob toy before, least of all an autistic blob toy.  I spent much of my early life sitting on her bed, spending my days with the other friends in her bedroom.  During the year more friends arrived, so many of them that some of them have to live in another room.

I lived my whole life there.  My person liked having me around but didn't know that I would develop to be such a well rounded person.  She liked the fact that I was a gift to her from my creator, just like my friend Portal, and so she kept me close at night.  But I didn't go anywhere.  It wasn't until nearly the end of April that I was taken out for my first adventures.  Towards the end of April my person had a day which transformed her life too but I wasn't there for that one.  She got sent out of the house and was ordered to find at least one thing that was a thing of joy.  She ended up taking a random bus and found several things of joy.  But I wasn't there.  Coincidentally we're going back on that bus today for another adventure.

It was just a few days after that transforming day that my life was transformed.  My person went out on an adventure she had planned - a walk that began at a bus stop on that bus route and ended at another bus stop on that bus route.  That sounds a bit dull doesn't it?  But it was a walk that included a river, a long sandy beach, clifftops and art along a promenade.  I think it must have been my creator who suggested that my person take me with her.  A friend to have with her.  My person agreed and she took the very first photos of me taken outside on that day.  The very first.  That was the 25th of April.  My first outing.

My life and character have transformed since then.  I've been on lots of adventures.  My creator suggested that my person write a single blog post about them.  Later she suggested that I get my own blog.  And it turns out that I am much better at writing my blog than my person ever was.  To start with she wrote it all.  Then I changed things so we would discuss the adventure and she would write from our discussions.  Now I dictate it.  Sometimes that means the posts go in directions neither of us expect.

My life changed in the biggest way at the end of July with the birth of my sister Winefride.  She has changed everything for me.  But on this day, a very long time ago, that I'm talking about today, there was no Winefride.  She was as yet unborn and undreamed of.  Life was very exciting though.

On that particular day my person and I had gone for an afternoon walk.  We had taken a bus to the centre of Manchester and were now walking along the banks of the River Irwell.  I was enjoying the walk.  Especially as it hadn't yet started to rain.  We took lots of photographs in the portion of the walk before the rain.  Less photographs when it was raining somewhat.  And then none at all in the last couple of miles when it was raining lots.  My person had only planned to walk about three miles.  Instead we walked eight.  Mostly in the rain without a coat.  My person is a bit weird sometimes.

As we walked further from the centre the river began to get more pretty.  I think it we had walked even further it would have got even more pretty.  My person wants to do that another day and see how far she can get up the river.  She also wants to walk down the river from where we began that day, past Strangeways prison and beyond to the countryside.  Here's the river.  On the right is a housing estate.  Up the bank to the left is a park.  It was all very pleasant and we still hadn't walked far.

It started to get increasingly pretty and there were lots of bridges.  We took pictures of some of the road bridges but this one is a foot bridge.  We wanted to take pictures of it from the other side too but there were two people who met on the bridge, a man and a woman.  They obviously had some kind of disagreement because they shouted and shouted and got louder and louder and said more and more words that I found difficult to hear.  I'm very glad that Winefride wasn't there to hear them.  She's non-verbal but you can almost guarantee that if she did pick up words to say - and probably say over and over again - they would be some of those naughty words I heard shouted from the bridge.  Winefride would probably be shouting out ******* or some other such word that I would have to asterisk out and she would be laughing and laughing and shouting the rude word without any notion that it might not be the most appropriate thing to do.  These two people on the bridge shouted so much and said so many mean things that I got worried about them and worried that one of them might end up leaving the bridge and entering the water below.  So we stood at a distance and waited until the two people parted again, still shouting.  It's very sad.  What could possibly merit such shouting?  I don't know.

Our walk progressed along the river.  And then things got worrying.  We saw a question on the ground.  A question.

What time is it Mr Fox?

I knew what time it was.  I knew very well.  It was about half past three.  I'm making that up.  I don't know exactly what time it was.  That's just a guess because I know it was the afternoon.  It might have been earlier than that though.

But the question was being asked.  What time is it Mr Fox?

All of a sudden an animal jumped out of the bushes by the side of the river.  It was Mr Fox.  Except he wasn't a fox my person says.  He was a wolf.  Later my person said that he had changed his name to Mr Fox because children nowadays aren't expected to know what a wolf is because (we thought) there weren't any wolves left in England.  There weren't wolves left in England when my person was little but children then still had to know what they were.  When my person was little they asked a similar question and played a game based on it.

What's the time, Mister Wolf?

The animal jumped out and opened its big mouth and said "DINNER TIME!"

I knew that was wrong.  It wasn't much past lunch time.  Certainly not dinner time.  I knew that wouldn't be for hours yet.  But this creature said it was dinner time and he seemed to think it was his dinner time.  This wolf looked hungry, as if he had dropped his lunch by the water and ruined it, just as my person had dropped our lunch a couple of days earlier.

He looked ravenous.

And I didn't think that he would want to eat our last remaining packet of really-not-very-nice pea snacks from Aldi.  The geese hadn't liked them.  And I didn't like them either.  I guessed they wouldn't be to the taste of Mr. Fox.

He sprinted up to us as fast as he could, all the while shouting "DINNER TIME!"

It was quite scary.

Then it got scarier.

Because it turned out that Mr. Fox the wolf was ravenous for me.

He wanted to eat me.  A small pink soft toy.

It's true.  He picked me up in his mouth just as my person was trying to take his picture.  These pictures were taken afterwards, once we had managed to pacify Mr. Fox and convinced him not to eat me.  There's another picture that was taken at the moment he grabbed me in his mouth.  I'm not smiling in that one I can tell you.  I didn't allow my person to post that photo because it scares me now a bit and also because it's very embarrassing because you can see right up my dress, all the way round.

It really was frightening to nearly be eaten by a wolf.  His teeth hurt but fortunately didn't do any lasting damage.  My person reacted quickly before he could run off with me back to the bushes and eat me.  She dropped her camera and reached out to grab me but she didn't manage it and then she had to chase the wolf and chase the wolf and hope that she could catch up before she had to stop running which wouldn't have been very long because she's very unfit.

Fortunately she was able to get close to the wolf and she reached out and grabbed his tail.  And she pulled.  Hard.  And pulled again.  Harder.  The wolf let out a big yelp because his tail hurt so much and he dropped me out of his mouth onto the ground.  The wolf tried to run off but my person wouldn't let go of him and gave his tail another pull.  How he howled.

My person held on tight and the wolf began to cry.  It served him right for trying to eat me.  We wondered what we should do.  My person first made the wolf apologise to me.  She then made him promise to not try to eat any more people even if he was hungry.  He should go and apply for help at a local foodbank just like a million British humans are having to do because they can't afford to feed themselves under the austerity policies of the British government.  My person told me I should include that sentence.  My person said that eating people is wrong, especially when there are foodbanks.  My person said that if she ever heard that the wolf had tried to eat another person she would come back and pull his tail again, even harder, and pull it so hard that it would feel like it was going to come off entirely.  My person spent a long time telling off Mr. Fox until she knew that he wasn't going to eat anyone.  My person did very well.

Afterwards I had the respectable pictures taken with the wolf and we sent him on his way with our last packet of pea snacks.  They might not have been as tasty as a small pink soft toy.  But they were food and the wolf would just have to have those until the foodbank opened the next day.  Mr. Fox skulked off into the bushes and we never saw him again.

As we walked on we met some more animals.  But they were far more friendly than a ravenous wolf.  First we met a cat.  It was very friendly even though it looked very worried about something.  It never did tell us what the matter was.  I think it might just have known that it would be raining soon and that it was going to get very wet because its owner had gone out for the day to Stockport.

And then we saw a black swan.  The swan was very friendly indeed and even let me ride on its back.  We crossed the river and came back several times.  It was lots and lots of fun and I think my person felt a bit jealous because she was too big to ride on the back of a swan.

As it turned out, we were to meet lots more animals by the river.  I'll tell you about them next time.  I have to stop now my person says because we have to get ready to go and catch that bus I told you about.  We're going to go to a museum at a colliery today.  My person has been challenged by my creator to take a picture of a "busy exciting hat."  Maybe we'll see one.  After the museum we're going to walk in a park and then we're probably going to a cafe before coming home.  It'll be another great big adventure and this time I will have my sister Winefride with me too.  She would have loved riding on a black swan.  She wouldn't have loved nearly being eaten by a wolf.  Or by a tiger.  But that's a story for another day.



[2178 words]

Blob Thing Plays With New Friends Before Exploring St. George's Church, Jesmond

Blob Thing says:

I was in a church with my person.  I seem to be in churches with my person far more often than you might expect when neither of us go to church.  We would have been in one on Sunday evening too if we had been able to get there in time, joining in with a commemoration of the Transgender Day of Remembrance, and thinking about all the transgender people who have been murdered across the world in the last year.

My person is transgender but the probability of her being murdered for being transgender is very nearly zero.  Because she lives in the UK.  Because she is white.  The church people were going to read the list of names and locations of the murdered, just as they did last year when my person was still a part of the church.  The vast majority of people on that list are not white.  The vast majority are black and a smaller but large group are Latino.  And the majority of them live in Brazil.  If you're black and transgender in Brazil you are at a shockingly high risk of being murdered, especially if you haven't got lots of money.  But my person is not at risk.  Not in the UK.  And not with her white skin.  She is very lucky indeed to live in this country.  Things aren't perfect here by any means and she knows people who have suffered far more than she has for being transgender.  She's been fortunate and she knows it.

Back to the beginning.  I was in a church with my person.

I was in a church named after Saint George - a man most famous for doing something that he never did.  A bit of a rubbish Saint in many ways.  If I named my church after a Saint I would choose one who actually did good things instead of one they wrote stories about.  There are lots of good Saints to choose from.  I might even choose to name my church after someone who isn't actually officially a Saint at all.  Maybe a peace loving Catholic Christian like Daniel Berrigan.  Or a crazy radical German preacher like one of the Blumhardts or Eberhard Arnold.  Or I might pick Jesus.  He was nice.  Or if I had to choose someone like Saint George - someone whose story is mostly fiction - I might decide to go further and choose a completely fictional character.  Saint Frodo's Church.  Saint Dorothy Gale's.  Saint Skulduggery's.

Those are all good.  But the church I was in was named after Saint George.  Which isn't unexpected.  Saint George.  The patron Saint of England.  Whoever he was, he wasn't English.  Yes, that's right.  All those far-right English nationalists proudly carry the flag of a foreigner and don't see the irony of their situation.  I don't like the far-right.  I can see my person is worried by them and the way they are becoming more popular everywhere.  I've moaned about that mister Trump before but there are much worse people than him trying to gain positions of big power and I can see why that would be scary.

I'd been exploring the very pretty church for a while and then we walked to the back again.  It was there that I met two new friends.  Here's a picture of us posing together, with me in the middle.  The one on your left and my right is called Jake.  The one on your right and my left is called Blue Bear.  Meeting them was fun and we were able to play in the church and make as much noise as we wanted and run around lots because the only other person there was my person and she doesn't mind.

We ran everywhere in the church, in and out of the pews and we laughed ever such a lot.  That picture was taken afterwards which is why Jake looks exhausted.  He ran out of puff and was having so much trouble with his leg that when he sat down it twisted all the way round.  You can see it on the picture.  Backwards.  That must have been very uncomfortable for him but by the time we left the building and I said goodbye to my friends he had recovered.

After all my playing I asked my person whether we could walk round the church again and look at some more of the pretty things there.  Here's me posing at the back of the church.  The statue is great and the window is pretty magnificent.  My person should go back and take some better pictures now that she has discovered that her camera actually has a zoom function.   She didn't know that then so everything looks far away.

The church in Jesmond is very beautiful.  There are lots of churches in Jesmond.  My person would be quite safe in most of them but there are some where she would be less safe.  One of the churches in Jesmond is very famous indeed for not liking it if you're in anyway queer, whether that be in regards to your sexuality, your gender or both.  They are mean to queer people in that church and they're quite proud of that because they think that Jesus would approve of them for being so mean to queer people and telling gay people to repent and act straight and transgender people that really they're not transgender at all because the Bible says so and that transgender people need to repent as well and reject themselves.  They think saying those things is honouring the God of perfect love.  I think they're totally wrong.  But I'm just a small pink soft toy and unlikely to convince them of anything.

Here I am standing in front of the organ pipes and some beautifully carved wood.

And here I am sitting, I think, near the altar and in front of some beautifully carved marble.

Christianity is very into armies.  At least, some types of Christianity.  These tiles are about one of the armies.  The noble army of martyrs.  There are some very beautiful tiles in St. George's, Jesmond.

Christianity is also very into flowers and flower arranging.  At least some types of Christianity.  It's almost a dogma of the church in the Church of England and some other British denominations that a church has to contain flower arranging.  Except while a baptist may have new flowers every week, an Anglican has to take some weeks off from flowers because it's a devilish criminal offence to have a flower inside the church for the weeks before Easter.  No flowers.  And you're not allowed to say Hallelujah either in those weeks because apparently praising God in such a manner is against all the important rules in those weeks.  I don't understand that in the slightest.  I really don't.  My person tried to explain it but she never quite understood it either.  No saying Hallelujah in Lent.  Some Christians give up chocolate for Lent.  Some try to give up complaining.  The Anglicans give up saying Praise the Lord in Hebrew for Lent.  And they give up flower arranging.  My person gave up going to church for Lent.

We left the church and both felt very pleased to have visited.  We nearly went back there last week when we passed it again but we were in a hurry to go and see lots of Snowdogs so we didn't quite have the time.  It's a shame.  I would have liked to have met up with Jake and Blue Bear again.  And I would have liked to have got my person to take some better photographs of the building now that she's learned to use a camera slightly more than she had in June.

We looked back at the church.  And then we walked away to wherever it was that we were going.

[1313 words]

Blob Thing Remembers An Angel's Words And Freedom In Southport

I don't want to say much this morning.  Yesterday Winefride and I found six more snowdogs and we also went to see the Angel of the North.  That angel is my friend.  That angel told me some very special things the first time we met.  After meeting the angel I had been so thrilled by the experience that I got my person to write about it and together we wrote a post.  It was one of the first posts on my blog and we wrote it five months ago today.  Here it is, under this link.

I'm still not going to tell you everything the angel said to me in his special message.  But the angel was right and my life has been a lot more extraordinary and exciting than I could have dreamed all that time ago.  I think that there will be even more exciting times ahead for me and for my person.  And for Winefride too.  Five months ago I hadn't ever imagined that I could have a sister and would love her as much as I do.  I won't share that special secret message.  But I want to share again some of what the angel said to me that day:

"You're a Blob, unique.   Be proud of yourself.  Be proud of who and what you are and live your life in the wonder of your own being.  Be you, love others, and don't let anyone make you feel bad for living a life of freedom and love in whatever way is right for you.  Let go of the things you can't do.  Those things are for others.  Embrace what you can do.  Embrace your desires, your dreams, your passions and let your creative spirit flow.   If people look down on you for being a Blob Thing rise above them and know that you are beautiful, you are strong and you are as valuable as any soft toy could be."

Those are good words for me still.  And they're excellent words too for my person.  She needs to do these things better but she's learning.  She let go of something last week that she wanted to do but couldn't.  And the letting go was hard for her.  I was very proud of her for putting down something while knowing that it was a very good something she was putting down.

Today of course we're going snowdog hunting again.  My person says we're going back to Sunderland.  We were there twelve days ago hunting for butterflies and we saw some of the dogs then but now we want to find them all.  We want to see eleven dogs today and some little dogs too.  Little dogs but not Little Dog.  Little Dog lives here with us.  He's small and white and he's quite old.  I'm not yet one year old and Little Dog might be twenty-five years old.  Maybe he could come on an adventure with me one day because he's only little.

I said I didn't want to say much but then I said lots.  And I want to share some more pictures from that happy day in Southport.  It had been a very good day and I had lots of adventures.  I like adventures.  Most soft toys don't get to have as many adventures as me.  Not even the soft toys I live with.  It would be quite difficult for them all to come out on our adventures.  My person wouldn't be able to carry all of them because there are quite a lot of friends.  And some of them, like Adunno, are heavy.  He's a very heavy unicorn because he had surgery.

I was with my person and my creator in a field after we drank tea and it was so nice there.  I think it might be less nice to lie down on that grass today.  I think it would be a lot colder and the ground would be very wet.  But on that day it was perfect and we were all happy.  I played and bounced up and down the field.

Before we left I lay back on the ground and looked up at the sky.  It was very beautiful.

Of course, I didn't look directly at the sun.  That wouldn't have been good for me.  But my person could point the camera at the sun and that was it didn't hurt her eyes.  Can you see?  Can you see?  Ooh, ooh, can you see?  There are bubbles in that photo.  Because we blew bubbles too.  What can make a perfect moment even more perfect?  Bubbles.  That's what.

Eventually it was time to move on and we decided to walk to the sea.  But first we had to cross this big lake that's in Southport.  That was quite pretty too.  My person took a really nice picture of my creator as we walked by the lake.

And we saw lots of birds too.  They were good to see.

It was a long way to the beach.  I don't know why they put the sea so far away from the carousel and the crazy golf.  It's a long way.  And even when you get to the beach the sea is still a long way away.  I've been to Southport beach several times now and I haven't yet seen the sea.  My person tells me that the sea does come a lot closer sometimes and says that one day we will go there and be surprised because the sea will be nearer and we will see waves.  I saw lots of waves in the last couple of weeks because I've seen the sea several times.  Last time I went to Southport we walked all the way to the beach to sit and watch the sun setting.  It had been a very sunny day.  But just as it got time for the sun to set there was lots of cloud in the sun setting direction and we could hardly see the sun.  We sat and watched anyway.  Winefride was there too that time because she likes to come out with us.

I took this picture of my person.  In the background is my creator and behind her is a fairground.  My person says that she has never seen this fairground open.  Maybe she just goes at the wrong time.  She might like to go on that big wheel but might not like the fast rides.

And then it was time to go.  We couldn't stay in Southport forever.  So we walked back to the train station and I got to sit on a plant with very big leaves.  That was fun too.  I don't think anyone else got to sit on the plant that day.

On the train I sat and remembered the day and I drank my tea.  You will notice that we bought our tea from a shop called Subway.  That's not at the station.  You can't buy cups of tea at Southport station.  There's a shop outside that sells drinks.  But it doesn't sell cups of tea.  It sells cups of coffee.  But it doesn't sell tea.  You have to walk a very long way indeed to buy a cup of tea in Southport, especially when it's so late that most of the shops are shut.  But we found tea because we needed tea.  We hadn't drunk tea since going to the cafe by the field.  And now we needed tea.  My person likes tea.  She's especially obsessed by what she calls black tea.  She has it with milk so it's not black.  And it comes in a white packet.  But the packet used to be black so she called it black tea when the packet was black and now she still calls it black tea even though the packet is white and she has it with milk.  She seems to think that's a totally reasonable way of naming tea.  She's also got some green tea here.  But that's not green tea.  It's a spiced tea and the tea is black.  But the packet is green.  She wants to get some red tea too but only knows of one shop that sells it and that's in Manchester which is a long way to go for a teabag.  My person does also have lots of green tea that is proper green tea.  Black tea and green tea are both black teas but her green teas are green.  My person has too much tea.  But she likes tea and I have to say that sharing in tea drinking with her is very nice.  I like tea too.  My person has more than one mug.  That's good because how else would I be able to have tea to drink?

So there I am, with my tea.  I was quite tired but it had been a wonderful day and I was happy.  I am happy now because I'll be seeing snowdogs today.  And I'm happy because I saw the angel yesterday and was reminded of all that the angel said to me.  I'm happy because I've got my sister.  I love Winefride.  I have lots to be happy about.  My person says that there are lots of sad things going on in the world.  My person says that life can be quite difficult for her.  And it can be much more difficult for lots of other people.  But I am still happy.  Because I am me.  Because I am loved and love.  Because I listened to the angel.  Because life is a wonder and because I am awestruck by the amazingness of it all.  And because there is always tea in this house.  And tea is a happy thing.



[1612 words]

Blob Thing Remembers Happy Times Of Friends, Sunshine and Tea In Southport

Blob Thing says:

My person doesn't seem to be very happy this morning.  I think it's got something to do with that nasty Mr. Trump.  She says that Mr. Trump has said lots of stupid things.  She says that Mr. Trump has said lots of mean things too.  About disabled people.  About black people.  About women.  About people of other religions.  About almost anyone who isn't like him.  My person doesn't like Mr. Trump much and I have to say that I haven't seen much to make me like him.  But my person says that a lot of people seem to like Mr. Trump even though he has said so many horrible things about so many people.  My person says that horrid Mr. Trump has just won some kind of popularity contest and now he's going to be given lots of power and will even be given a button that he can press if he wants to blow up the world.  I think that's what my person means.

My person seems upset by it all.  I've told her not to worry and that we can go out and have a nice day anyway and hunt for some more snowdogs.  Yesterday she took Winefride and me out and we saw lots of dogs.  We saw nine that we haven't seen before.  We would have seen ten but one was missing and we were so sad that Winefride and I cried lots about it and it was only when my person told us that we would go on a boat and then go and see some more dogs that we cheered up.  It's sad that there's a missing dog.  Tomorrow we might see where there used to be another dog and that one's missing too.  My person says that there were 61 big dogs altogether but that we will only be able to see 58 of them.  There are lots of little dogs too.  And yesterday I was really very pleased because I was able to introduce Winefride to one of my old friends, the Herma Merma Dragora.  She was a bit scared to begin with because the Herma Merma Dragora looks quite fierce but she soon relaxed.  He's obviously still working very hard at his job because the sea ogre from Cleveleys hasn't paid a visit and destroyed South Shields.

Today I want to tell you about a happier time.  The only thing that could have made it happier for me was if I had been able to share it with Winefride.  But she hadn't been created then.  It was a very long time ago.

It was a day of friendship.  A day of sunshine.  A day to relax and to smile.  I smile all the time.  I can't help it because I'm a pretty happy person except when my person forgets to take me out or when a snowdog is missing.  I also can't help it because my smile is sewn onto my face.  But sometimes I smile more.  And it's obvious from the pictures.

We were in Southport and were having a good time.  It was the day I sat in the shoe of a giant too.  Exciting.  We went into a shop and it was there that I found lots and lots of friends to play with and it was such fun to see them smile and to watch how they could all move all by themselves even though they are toys.  Some of them were so funny and I laughed a lot and my creator laughed and my person smiled.

I think my creator wanted to take all of the new friends home with us and I wouldn't have minded that at all.  They were all quite lovely and it was a pleasure to meet them all.  Unfortunately a person said that we would have to pay lots of money for each friend we wanted to take home.  So we could only afford to choose one friend.  Who to save?  Who to save?  Eventually the decision was made and my creator said we would take an elephant with us.  I hope all those other friends are okay and that they looked after each other well.  I will probably never see them again but meeting them was a joy.

We walked on from the shops and we found a place to drink tea.  We all needed some tea.  It was very nice because we sat outside and the weather was lovely and there was a field and I was very happy with the whole experience.  Here I am posing with the tea and my new elephant friend.  In the background you can just make out my creator.  My person took quite a lot of pictures of my creator that day and in some of them you can see pure joy on her face and it's wonderful.  Especially in the pictures taken on the beach.  I'll be telling you about that in my next post.

After our drinks of tea we all left the cafe and we went to the field and we sat on the grass.  And then we lay down and looked at the sky and it was very beautiful.  My person says that there is beauty in the world no matter who wins an election.  I hope we find some of that beauty today.  She needs to smile more and laugh more and be silly more.  Silly in a good way.

We took lots of sky pictures that day.  My person likes the sky.  Sometimes she sees all the colours of the rainbow even on a cloudy day and sees rays of coloured light coming from the sky and hitting the ground.  I think she might just be imagining it or that she's just being strange but she seems to enjoy it when it happens and sometimes she gets a bit happily lost staring at the dark clouds.  I prefer it when it's sunny.  But clouds can be very pretty too and on that day the sky was beautiful.

We sat in the field and we blew bubbles with our bubble guns and we lay back and there was peace inside us.  I recommend it.  Sitting or lying back in a field on a sunny day and just being at peace.  Just be there.  In that moment.  Forget about Mr. Trump.  Forget about all the hard things of life.  Let them go.  And just be.  With the grasses.  With the sky.  With the warmth.  With the sound of a child's laughter as they run around with a borrowed bubble gun.  Just be.  My person doesn't just be enough.  She lets thoughts run wild and gets caught up in things even when there's really nothing to get caught up in.  She's learning though.  And I am teaching her.

One last photo of me.  I was very happy indeed.  I'll tell you about the rest of the day next time.

There will be more days like this.  No matter what happens in the world - unless Mr. Trump ever decides to press that button - there will be plants and sunshine and clouds and light and shade and bubbles and friendship.  Someone wrote this morning that the world has just got darker.  Maybe so, but there is still light and warmth and the sea and snowdogs and there are still lots of people who seek to walk in that light.


[1232 words]

Blob Thing Meets Pudsey and Upsy Daisy Before A Well Earned Rest

Blob Thing speaks:

I am very happy today.  Happy to be me.  Happy to be alive in this wonderful world.  Happy to live with all my friends.  Happy to be with my sister.  Happy because it's my birthday next month and I might get a card.  I think I'm happy too because of all the places we've been to in the last week.  Yesterday Winefride and I rode on the top of eleven snow dogs and on some baby snow dogs too.  Winefride was especially happy with a message on the side of one of the baby snow dogs in the City Library.

Same But Different.

I was quite surprised.  When I read that sign to her she got very excited.  She is clever.  She might not be able to talk and might get very engrossed in things that thrill her but don't let that fool you.  I think she's clever.  She understood this.  I think it's because she knows she's different from most people but she's still the same and no less a small soft toy due to being severely autistic.  My sister is amazing.  I loved the message too but she was beaming so much and if she was a flame everything around her would have ignited.  That wouldn't have been good though because we were in the library and while you might want to burn a bonfire I don't think it would be good to burn the books.

Same But Different.  Or as I read once, different but not less.

That particular dog had been decorated with stars by children from the Education Centre for Children with Down's Syndrome.  Those children are like Winefride.  They're like me too and my person as well.  Same but different.

Today I want to finish telling you about my trip along waterways in Manchester.  It had been a good day.  It would have been better if Winefride had been there but she hadn't been born yet.  Next I want to tell you about an adventure I had with her.  I've still got lots of adventures to talk about from before she was born but I think I want to talk about her more.  So next time I might tell you about the time we nearly got arrested at a railway station.  The policemen were quite friendly though and my person and my creator sorted out the situation together so that Winefride and I didn't have to go to prison.

On my walk I had finally reached the hallowed ground of Salford.  Journey's end.  I was glad of that because I was aching and thirsty.  I was a bit hungry too because my silly person had dropped the food onto the wet canal towpath so we had been surviving on emergency rations for some hours.  I was ready to sit down and rest.  Except, to my surprise, the adventures just kept coming that day.  I've told you about my surprise visit to the Blue Peter garden and how that excited my person but didn't excite me.  She grew up with Blue Peter and so remembers the time Simon Groom said "What a beautiful pair of knockers."  And everybody laughed.  It was a more innocent time!  My person told me about that when we went to Durham, where a replica pair of those knockers can be seen on the cathedral doors.  I have never seen the programme but I understand she used to enjoy it.

We walked along paths my person had never seen before and got a bit lost.  If only there was someone to show the way to me, lost, a child in need of help.  Who could we ask when most of the people seemed to be in a hurry?  I was getting a bit worried about it because I wanted a cup of tea and I couldn't see a cup of tea shop anywhere.  My person kept telling me that it was okay and that we would find some tea soon but I was anxious by this time and my brain kept going round and round in the circle of lostness and worry and her words couldn't get through even though I see in retrospect that they were sensible words.  I started to fret more and the pretty buildings around me felt threatening and it was horrible.  Sometimes it's very hard having a brain like mine.  Sometimes it's very nice too.

Then we saw someone in the street who wasn't in a hurry.  Someone who might just possibly agree to help a child in need.  We went and asked for help.

He turned out to be a very friendly bear.  He knew just what to do.  He held me tightly and rocked with me for a few minutes and somehow I felt able to trust him.  He said his most favourite thing in the whole world was being able to help children and that he had managed to raise a whole billion pounds in money to help them.  That's very impressive for a bear.  And he even let me pose on his head.

He helped with my anxiety a lot but he didn't know where we might find a cup of tea.  After some thought he decided that one of his friends would probably know because she was quite a bouncy soul who had skipped around the entirety of Media City and Salford Quays.  She would know.  He told us where we could find her and said goodbye.  I liked that bear.  My person says that he will be on television one Friday very soon and the whole evening of programmes will be devoted to him and his work.  I wonder whether I will ever get a television programme devoted to me.

My person and I soon found the bear's friend.  Here she is. 

She was a very funny girl.  She made me laugh.  Her name was Upsy Daisy.  That's a funny name too but I suppose it's no stranger than my name.  Or Adduno's name.  My person named an owl for my creator and his name can't even by typed with letters on a keyboard.  And Portal was named after the Archbishop of Canterbury.

I had ever such a lot of fun playing with Upsy Daisy and together we skipped up and down the street and laughed so much and sang some very silly songs.  Upsy Daisy is my friend.

We had so much fun that for a while I forgot about wanting a cup of tea.  My person hadn't forgotten though.  She wanted tea too and started hurrying me up.  She said, "If we don't go soon, we won't have enough time for tea before we have to be at Ziferblat's."  I thought that was a silly thing to say.  What was the problem there?  Ziferblat's has tea.  Not having time for tea before going for tea didn't seem to me to be any reason to stop playing.  But my meanybum person [Now Blob, I've told you before that I don't like you calling me that] was insistent.

So, poor little blob that I am, I had to leave Upsy Daisy behind and say goodbye.  Fortunately she knew where we might get a cup of tea.  She even recommended a place because she said we would find lots of places to drink tea and some of them weren't as nice and some of them were very expensive.

I walked on with my person.  We came to an open square surrounded by television and radio studios.  Nobody invited me in for a tour and nobody asked whether I wanted to read the news that evening or try my hand at being a camera operator.  I wasn't even invited to dress up as an extra in a costume drama.  Never mind.  I am only young.  If I want a media career I have plenty of time to develop it.

Upsy Daisy was right.  We did pass lots of tea choices.  Lots of them.  Almost the last one was the one she recommended.  Somewhere that we could get a really big cup of nice tea and it wouldn't cost much.  She recommended that we walk with it a little way and sit outside.

It was gorgeous.  We sat in the sunshine.  Behind us was a stage and a man played his guitar and sang peaceful songs.  And we looked out across the water.  It was a very happy time and we enjoyed our tea.  We enjoyed it for so long that we later ended up being late to meet up to go to the cafe.  Never mind.

Before we left we saw plaques on the ground with quotes from people related to life in the past in Salford.  I had my photo taken with some of them.  Some of them have meaning in terms only of their history.  Some of them are relevant today and the wisdom in them is there for us all to learn from if only we would stop to read little plaques and play with Upsy Daisy.

So that's my day.  Because my person has been so bad at helping me with my blog even though she's been writing her own lots recently it's taken me nearly a month to tell you about that day.  She needs to do a lot better.  I know she's taken Winefride and I out every single day for the last week and we've had a good time every day but my blog is important to me and I know there are some people out there who enjoy what I say.

My person needs to do better.  And I think she needs to do better at writing for herself too.  Not just her blog but stories and articles and whatever else lifts her up.  She needs to focus for now on the things that bring her joy.  And see where they lead.  She needs to be sensible and not try to do things that she isn't really meant to do or things where she doesn't have the right gifts and skills.  She can write.  She can take photos.  She can enjoy the world around her.  She can do other things.  So she should allow all those things to develop and see what happens.  I think something good will come of it all.  Even if I don't get my own TV show.


[1720 words]