Blob's person was going out for a few hours and although she was only going into town he wanted to come. Sometimes there are adventures there too. There was that day on which he drank tea and met friends in the Literary and Philosophical Library. There was that day on which he rang the bells of St. Andrew's church. Even in the centre of Newcastle there are adventures for Blob to have. This day would be one of them. It just wouldn't involve the Herma Merma Dragora or lunch at a lighthouse.
Blob's person had an important job to do when she got to town. She regularly has her eyebrows waxed. Blob thinks for most people who do the same thing it's a meaningless custom. He thinks that most people should just be satisfied with the eyebrows they have and not fall into societal pressures that say a certain kind of eyebrow is better than another kind or to think they look far better because their eyebrows are now a shape dictated by fashion, a shape that often doesn't look natural at all. He thinks that the idea that your eyebrows should be a certain colour - even when that colour looks strange because it doesn't match the hair on the top of your head at all - is an odd idea. He thinks women and men and non-binary people can do whatever they want with their eyebrows. But he hopes that they are all doing it for themselves, as self expression and that there is no taint of doing it out of societal pressure or fashion or anything else.
That's what Blob thinks about it all. He doesn't understand fashion and he doesn't understand dressing like everyone else and he doesn't understand how people think they are improved by having their eyebrows ripped out or dyed or by having fake eyelashes bolted onto their faces. But if that's what makes people happy then Blob's fine with it. They're not hurting anyone - except themselves when their hair is ripped from their faces.
Blob doesn't understand. He'll never be a follower of fashion or listen to other people telling him what style means. He has his dress. If people like it, great. If they don't then Blob doesn't care. One man got very worried indeed that anyone would ever possess such material let alone have it made into a dress. He was quite insulting in the way he talked about Blob Thing's clothes. He insulted Blob's creator too and Blob's person was not happy at all about that. But another person said she was quite jealous of Blob's dress and that she wanted one just like it. Blob likes his dress a lot and knows that the colour suits him very well. He likes Winefride's dress too and thinks her clothes are beautiful.
Blob hasn't got any eyebrows but his person does have her eyebrows waxed. It's not a fashion thing with her. It's different. If she doesn't get the job done then her eyebrows go crazy. She looks like she could be a perfect werewolf. She looks like a male werewolf. And she gets stared at even more than usual and gets comments about her appearance. Perhaps she shouldn't care in the slightest about that. But a fact is a fact. Eyebrow waxing makes her life as a woman easier. She doesn't wear make up. She doesn't "pass better" that way but she does "pass better" through the waxing. It's a simple matter. Eyebrow waxing changes the way people treat her and look at her. And it's not a major burden for her life. It's still something she wonders about. Blob's person has a motto that she says sometimes. "F*** Passing!" But in the waxing - and in the electrolysis too - one of the aims is to pass better. Perhaps she doesn't F*** passing as well as she says.
So Blob went to the salon with his person. Here it is. Blob was patiently waiting with her at this point. It wasn't a long wait.
Lots of people are there in the background having their fingernails made prettier. Blob's person likes pretty nails but she hasn't ever spent money having someone make them pretty for her. It's a very popular way of spending money though and new shops selling pretty nails open in Newcastle regularly. Blob's person rarely makes her nails pretty even though she likes pretty nails. It takes lots of time to do and she can't be bothered with it most of the time.
Soon it was time for Blob's person to be waxed. Blob came too. A woman painted wax on her face, covered it with some kind of special paper. And pulled. There was a loud ripping sound. But no reaction from Blob's person. She didn't seem to mind the pain. Blob's person didn't even twitch a muscle. Blob thought that he might have had to look after her like he does in electrolysis appointments. But no. He wasn't needed at all.
Blob and his person left the eyebrow waxing shop. It was close to lunchtime and they were getting a bit hungry. And so they returned to the cafe they had visited a couple of days previously. Super Natural Cafe on Grainger Street. This time they would have lunch.
Here is that lunch:
It's very impressive. It was a plain jacket potato topped up with lots of good and simple food from the salad bar at the cafe. Blob's person thought it was very excellent and Blob could only agree with that. There would be more than enough for Blob and his person to share and they would have to be a bit greedy to get through it all.
It was also very good value for money and Blob decided that they should return to Super Natural regularly and eat baked potatoes and all those simple salads. They might even add something green to the plate one day. A very good idea. It's a nice cafe and the salad bar raised it above nearly every other cafe in Newcastle in the eyes of Blob.
You can see just how much Blob was excited by the meal in that photo. You will also notice that it's a different meal. Yes. You spotted it. That photo was taken on another day. Blob's person had enjoyed the food so much that she went back again. It certainly was an impressive way to eat.
On the eyebrow day, Blob Thing and his person sat with some philosophers to eat the food. They happened to be in the cafe and she knew some of them from a long time ago when she used to go to some philosophy groups with them. She never coped well with the groups. She would sit in silence, unable to speak in such an environment because she doesn't really understand how the social rules in groups of people work. And she would struggle with the conversations the people would have - often attacking each other verbally. Blob knows that Socratic dialogue needs to challenge views but he doesn't think it needs to be so aggressive.
That day Blob's person sat and talked with one of the philosophers. That's the only way she can do groups. Corner one or two people. Extract them from the group. And then talk only with them. Sometimes (often) that's a struggle too. After lunch she got up to go and said farewell to the friendly philosopher. Philosophy makes Blob's person very tired indeed and she was glad not to have joined the group properly. They seemed to be saying much the same things they had been saying three years earlier. But maybe that's how all groups of people are.
And then, as she headed for the door to escape philosophy, someone called out to her.
"Hey, Blob's person." That someone didn't actually say that. She used Blob's person's name. Nobody greets her as Blob's person. Blob thinks that would be a strange thing to do.
The person was someone she knew from the Sunday Assembly and from the gratitude group of which they are both members. Blob's person was brave. She agreed to go and sit with the someone and with two friends of the someone who Blob's person had never met before. Blob Thing was pleased. It meant he could sit and look at this picture of a cat that was hanging on the wall.
The four people sat and talked. It got noisier in the cafe. Blob's person was just about coping but Blob was getting very overwhelmed. So he asked whether he could wear his person's noise cancelling headphones for a while. In truth, she was wanting to wear them but in most social situations it's not quite acceptable to stick headphones on and intentionally not be able to hear everyone.
Then someone suggested a fantasmogorical suggestion:
Cake cake cake!
Blob likes cake. And the cakes at Super Natural are quite special. Blob was overjoyed because his person agreed to stay for cake. Here's Blob Thing and the cake. He had already shared some of it with his person and it was quite delicious.
After eating cake, everyone was satisfied. It was time for Blob and his person to go home. They hadn't met any mythological creatures. They hadn't played in a play area. They hadn't been on a ship or ridden on the back of a turtle. But it had been a good day.
Blob Thing said that they should return to Super Natural regularly and eat baked potatoes and the fabulous foods on the simple but wonderful salad bar.
A few days later they returned to the cafe. They were greatly looking forward to it. And that's where it all went wrong.
The cafe had decided to take away the salad bar.
Instead of all that wonderful simple food the baked potato - which had gone up in price - would be served with a lettuce leaf, a dollop of coleslaw, and a few crisps.
Boring, boring, BORING!
The salad bar had raised that cafe far above all the others. And now it was gone. The food that Blob Thing wanted to eat was now impossible food. What was there in its place was the same dull thing served by a thousand other cafes. A leaf. Coleslaw. Crisps.
And so Blob Thing asked to leave the cafe. He will treasure the memories of those two plates of food he shared at Super Natural. But there will never again be a plate of food to compare with them.
Blob understands that the cafe probably had to become as boring as all the other cafes in order to make some money. He understands that they want to survive and to have some profits to give to the cats. But he's still quite sad about it.
Blob Thing is glad that he has written about that day out. It was a good day, but thinking about the fact that it can never happen again is an unhappy thought. He's glad that he doesn't have to write this blog again and think about it some more.
He's not decided what to write about tomorrow. He might talk some more about Winefride and share their adventure with the policemen. Or maybe not. There will come a time very soon when he will be missing days. This is his 69th post in 69 days. But he'll probably miss days soon. Next week Blob Thing will be going to an autism conference for four days and he'll be very busy indeed. And then not long after that he's going to a Christian festival and he will have to leave the computer at home and so won't be able to post anything at all. Be warned. The missing days are coming!
[2020 words. Blob's person thought that if she didn't let Blob just dictate the post then it would be much shorter. Her plan didn't work.]
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