Blob Thing Encounters An Evangelical Phone Box But Is Not Converted

Blob Thing's person is far too exhausted this evening to type a blog post for him.  She felt rough this morning but still went out and socialised with people.  She's glad she did it but is now shattered inside through making such an effort.  Visiting a graveyard on the way home helped her and she took some pretty pictures there.  But it wasn't enough to overcome the drain caused by the social.

Blob wants to share something today that's already been shared by his person on Facebook.  He says that his person should be able to cope with a post that just includes what's already been shared because she has already typed it.  Blob says that he hopes to be able to write a proper post of his own tomorrow.  He might not post about the Literary and Philosophical Library though unless he can remember the exact details of his adventure there.  He knows it involved a chasing game with a dragon and a puffin.  And he knows that the chief librarian told them all off and threatened to throw Blob Thing out of the library and forced the dragon and the puffin to get back onto the covers of the children's books they had escaped from.  But Blob is a bit hazy on the details right now so he might write about something else - another adventure involving a chase, and one which he had with Winefride.  That was a very exciting time.  But it was just a little bit more than scary for a while because Winefride was worried that they would be sent to prison!

Today Blob thing says that he wants to reproduce this:

This is the evangelical phone box of Settle.

Blob's person photographed while at ‪Autscape‬.  On that day she had gone walking with Blob's creator and they had taken Blob and Winefride along with them.  On that day they all ate ice cream, played by the river, and went to a play area.  It was lovely.  On the walk back from Settle to Giggleswick they saw the evangelical phone box and because Blob's person is still a bit obsessive about the God she doesn't believe in any more and the faith she no longer practices they all had to go and look at it.

Yes.  An evangelical phone box.

Inside the box were some leaflets about God and Jesus and church things, and a walking guide to the area in which you stopped off at various important spots and at every single church.  At every stop there was a little prayer.

Also inside the box was a quotation.  A direct quotation.  From God.

'Life is short, eternity is not.' - God


You may wonder about the veracity of that quote because it isn't in the Bible or in any other of the main books that God is alleged to have written.

But Blob's person - with a bit of help from Blob - has been looking carefully into events and can report that it is not invented.

The evangelical phone box got the direct quote from God after he won an amazing treble, scooping the 50p first prize at each of fudge making, the large vegetable competition, and the adult sack race. That was at a local festival in 2011.

Afterwards God said to the phone box in an interview for the BBC (filmed but never broadcast) that he was very proud of his achievement and would treasure his winner's cards for "a very long time because although life is short, eternity is not."

The interview was later printed in a local paper and God is pictured with his cards. Next to him is a local dignitary who is holding up God's enormous cucumber above his head.

God has since sold his house in ‪#‎Settle‬ and moved north to Dentdale. He wanted to downsize and live somewhere quieter. He hasn't bothered pinning up his cards in the new house. They're in a box up in his attic. Forgotten.

So God didn't keep his promise. But the evangelical telephone box carries on quoting him. And the quote was out of context to begun with. Evangelical telephone boxes will do anything to sell a message.

It is good to know the truth about these things. Otherwise people might continue to doubt that God ever said these words in Settle.

There's that phone box again - an inside view.  In the corner of the picture you can see a little piece of Blob's creator.  He hastens to say that all the other pieces of his creator were safely attached to that piece.  The evangelical phone box had not cut her into pieces.  So don't worry!

Blob quite likes the message that "God heart you."  He doesn't believe it though because he doesn't believe in a sky God being who actively loves.  Blob does believe in love though.  He agrees with the Bible that God is love.  He just doesn't believe in a theistic interpretation of what God is.

Blob Thing would say that wherever love is to be found, that which we may call god is to be found.

Blob would say that whenever we express true love, we express that which we may call god.

And thus the god of love, love itself, is found within and without, in the depths of our beautiful hearts and in the awesome wonder of the world around us.

Blob would say that god is love.  He would also say that god is not just love.  In the grandeur of the mountain there is no love expressed.  And yet god is there too.  God meets god when we express love and adoration for that grandeur.

That's what Blob says.  And because he says all that, it's possible that he doesn't quite believe all that he and his person wrote on Facebook about that direct quotation in the evangelical phone box - any more than they believed the can of Irn-Bru they saw today that claims it's "been bru'd to a secret recipe since 1901" and yet contains such wonderments as Ponceau 4R, a synthetic colouring that is banned in the USA, and Sunset Yellow.  [Also note that it says bru'd.  The drink was once called Iron Brew.  But they had to stop calling it Brew because it's not brewed.

The Food Standards Agency asked food manufacturers in 2008 to voluntarily remove additives such as these from foods.  But they're still in Irn-Bru.  The manufacturer agreed to remove them.  But that was in January 2010 and they haven't done it.  Naughty manufacturer.  This does not stop Blob's person from drinking the stuff every now and again.  It may have all kinds of crap in it.  It may contain 32 flavouring agents and Blob would suspect that not all of them were in the 1901 recipe. 

But it's tasty!

Blob's person has learned while reading about the 32 flavouring agents about the transphobic advertising campaign that ran for Irn-Bru.  Maybe it's time to stop drinking such utter crud.  Blob is instructing his person:  Never drink Irn-Bru again.  Blob thing points out too that the only iron in irn-bru (which was advertised as "made from girders") is in the form of a 0.002% addition of ammonium ferric citrate which isn't usually what girders are made from.  Blob is doing his very best to convince his person not to drink the stuff again.  She's complaining because it is tasty and she likes it.  But Blob is adamant.  Adamant.  This argument will run well past a blog post.

Blob wishes to apologise that his deep thinking about spirituality suddenly turned to talking about a soft drink.  Blob Thing has never drunk Irn-Bru.  He never will.  He doesn't like the colour.  Tea has good colours.  Hot chocolate has wonderful colours.  But he doesn't like the way Irn-Bru doesn't just look like rusty iron, it looks like luminous rusty iron.

Blob doesn't think the saying "God is luminous rusty iron" is quite as catchy as "God is love."

He's going to stick with "God is love."


[1343 words]

Blob Thing Looks Back to Autscape, Forward to Greenbelt And Fails To Write His Blog

Blob Thing and Winefride arrived back from Autscape last night.  They were both very tired after four very full days that turned out to be quite emotional for both of them and for Blob's person too.  Blob wishes that he could have found the time to write a blog post every day he was away but he just didn't have enough time.  He didn't have enough internet access either.  But that's another story.

Blob is having a lot of trouble concentrating to write a blog post today too.  It's as if the days away from writing have made it a lot more difficult for him to write today.  It is said that a writer should write at least something every day.  Blob might be finding out the hard way that there is much truth to that.  Today his head is such that words aren't coming.

Blob will talk about the Autscape experience later.  There is a lot to say.  He wants to talk about the food, the countryside, the time he went rock climbing, and the time he and Winefride scaled the summit of Mount Everest.  He wants to talk about playing in the river and getting a little nervous when Winefride crossed the river and sat in a tree.  He wants to talk about badge decorating and playing on the swings.  He wants to talk about meeting a Dalek, and the tin man, a fisherman, a dog, a soldier, an elephant and more animals too.  He wants to talk about the sensory room at Autscape and about Sparklies in the Dark.  And he has quite a lot to say about the journey to Autscape, including a ride along the Settle to Carlisle railway.  And of course he wants to talk about the moose.  The moose proved an extreme disappointment to Blob Thing.

Blob ate a lot of food at Autscape.  He was more than a bit greedy.

You can see here that he's decorated with the fruits of the spirit.  There's no coconut sticker of course because the fruit of the spirit's not a coconut.

Yes, Blob wants to talk about all of those things.  For those who don't know, Autscape is a four day conference and gathering of autistic people - with a few non-autistic people along for the ride.  It's the only such event of its kind anywhere in Europe.  Blob's person went there for the first time last year.  If she hadn't gone there then Blob would not exist.  Neither would Winefride.  Blob and Winefride are therefore extremely grateful for Autscape.

Here's Winefride by the River Ribble.   She was ever so brave to sit so close to the water.  Blob and his person got a bit frantic because they didn't want her to be washed away.  That would have been a tragedy.  Fortunately Winefride now has a set of reins so she can't run off and do too many very dangerous things.


The whole experience of attending was quite emotional.  It is easy to get overwhelmed there and Blob's person was in tears every day and had to take special efforts to look after herself otherwise there would have been totally public meltdowns.  She had greatly wanted to take part in an art workshop but found being there very traumatic indeed and had to leave very urgently.  The person in charge had said to draw something that represents her.  Blob's person couldn't cope.

After spending time lying on her bed in tears Blob suggested that he should take her and Winefride out for a walk.  So that's what they did and soon the three companions stood out on a hill under the blue sky, sitting silent in the quiet of nature.  Blob's person relaxed enough to take photos and decided that maybe that there she was among the things which represented her.  Nature.  Photos.  Her friends.  Quiet.  And the chance to write about it later.   Blob's person realised today that nearly every piece of art she has completed in the last year is based as much around words as around images.

Blob and Winefride both discovered they liked hot chocolate.  It was so tasty.  And they drank vast quantities of it.  Blob's person did too.

But only from the machine on the left.

The chocolate from the machine on the right was utterly disgusting.


Blob is still very tired today but he's been out adventuring.  Blob's person was going to a meditation group and Blob and Winefride went along too.  Unfortunately Blob's person wasn't feeling good this morning so arrived at the meditation place in quite a melty state and was unable to join the group at all.  Instead she sat in silence for ages before using her text to speech app to say farewell to the only other person in the room.  She then left.  And returned.  And drank tea and ate food and talked with that person and then with a very good friend who arrived.

Blob and Winefride didn't get to experience the group today but they hope to in the future.  It didn't stop them adventuring though.  Blob wore a suit of armour and they both enjoyed the fabulous views from the windows.  Later Blob's person took them to an art gallery in the same building.  It was amazing and they were the only three visitors.  Most people in Newcastle probably don't know that there is an art gallery there or that it's worth visiting.  For Blob, Winefride and his person too, the highlight today was a quiet video of a river.  It was an excellent place to sit and find some stillness before facing the city streets.

Another reason why this post is proving difficult - apart from the tiredness and the writer's block forged in a few days of not writing - is that the weather is a little damp.  Blob's person broke her finger seven years ago and needed surgery under general anaesthetic to try to fix the bone.  There was always a chance that it wouldn't work properly.  It didn't.  Her finger still aches and on some days typing hurts quite a bit.  Holding the finger out of the way would hurt too.  She made a finger splint recently out of a special plastic but can't find it and needs to make another.  Hopefully that will help her because she wants to write her own blog too.

Today Blob Thing wants to finish off his discussion of his adventures at the Literary and Philosophical Library in Newcastle.

Yes.  That's what I want to do.  I'm just so tired.  I'm going away again in a week too and that will be a very tiring time too.  And then a week after that I'm going away yet again and that's going to be the most tiring time of them all in some ways because I think I'm going to have to spend a lot of time looking after my person who is going to be doing something that needs to be done but which she is not looking forward to in the slightest.  In truth I think she wants to move on from much of her past entirely and leave it behind, to cut herself off from it.  There are decades back there in which even the best day was tinged with pain and a shadow inside and looking back to those years and those places is sometimes very hard for her.  I am quite worried about whether going back will have a bad effect on her.  A year ago she was meant to be going there and completely fell apart over it and just refused to go for the sake of her own well being.  I am very glad she did that.  My creator is very glad too.

It's so hard to write today.  I've got lots more photos of the library to share.  But as for writing.  How am I expected to do that today?  I just need to rest.  I know my person is going out again tomorrow and I don't know whether Winefride and I will be going with her.  I think she might need looking after again and might have trouble coping with the social environment she's putting herself into.  If she has too much trouble I want to be there to tell her that it's okay to leave and she doesn't have to force herself to soldier on through to the end.  Soldier on through.  I would prefer a different phrase there, I really would.  I don't want my person to be a soldier or to go to war or to carry guns and point them at people.

Then she's going out the next day too.  She's got a medical appointment that will be a bit stressful.  And I want to be there to hold her hand during that.  She wants a certain outcome from the appointment but it didn't happen last time.  Or the time before that.  Or the time before that.  She's been waiting ever such a long time for this outcome - an outcome she was (at least in theory) legally entitled to two years ago.  Hopefully this time they will say yes.  Otherwise she'll be waiting until next year before they consider it again.  I know that in some ways she doesn't particularly care about it.  In other ways she finds it to be very frustrating indeed.

And then the day after that she's going out too.  I'm going to be there for that one.  She has an appointment for electrolysis and I know she doesn't like that at all.  I will hold her hand throughout that appointment and we'll also have Pain the Bear with us.  He's a very good person to have along for painful appointments.

I hope that we can rest after that.  Or find some lovely weather and go for a walk.  I love our walks.  And I know that they are very good for my person.  She could do with a long walk.  We won't have much time to rest because I am taking my person to Greenbelt and we leave at the end of the week.  My person has never been to a festival before.  Unless you include the Jesus Army festivals she used to go to many years ago.  But those were different.  You stayed in a house.  And you had a choice of one event at a time.  It's not a festival like Greenbelt is.  I don't know how she will take to it.  I'll be there with her every step of the way of course and Winefride is coming too and we'll also have my creator with me.

I think it likely that I'll be going along with my person to do what she wants to do and Winefride will go along with my creator.  My creator seems to love Winefride a lot.  My creator took special care of her at Autscape and even made her some reins.  That's good.  Winefride doesn't quite understand how dangerous roads are or about other dangers.  She's got reins now so she can't run off and get run over by a car.  I have to admit that's quite a relief to me.  I don't want to lose my sister.  I love my sister.  She's so cute.  She's very happy too because she's got a badge now.  I think she was a bit jealous of my badge that says 'Autistic' and now she has an 'Autistic Pride' badge.  She looks magnificent wearing it.  I think she's magnificent anyway.

Well.  I haven't even started talking about the Literary and Philosophical Library today and it's time to stop.  Sorry about that.  I haven't even shared a photo.  I'll go back and put a few pictures in now.  They're all from Autscape.  Except for this one.  This picture was taken this morning while the meditation group was going on and while my person wasn't able to go.  There's a version of this photo with me posing and smiling my biggest smile.  But here it is without me.  You might think that improves the picture.  I quite like it without me.  But I do like to see the photos that my person takes of me and Winefride.  They bring back so many good memories.

That's it.  No library today.  But Blob's person thinks that he did pretty well for a very tired soft toy.  Her finger is aching more than she would like.  But Blob tells her that she might have her aching finger but she is lucky because she has fingers.  And thumbs.  And hands.  And arms.  And legs.  [Okay Blob, you can stop now.  You've made your point.]



[2100 words.  I don't think we should call that "fails to write his blog."]

Blob Thing Is Adventuring At Autscape With No Time For Writing A Blog

Blob Thing is not having time to write his blog.  He's spending four days at Autscape, a conference and gathering run by and for autistic people.  Blob is enjoying himself but is too busy to write.  Winefride is having a very good time too.  Blob is quite relieved because she now has some reins so that she won't be able to suddenly run off into the middle of the road.  She doesn't quite understand how dangerous it would be.

Yesterday afternoon, Blob and Winefride left Autscape for a few hours with Blob's person and Blob's creator.  They were going to meet with a friend who couldn't make it to Autscape this year but could be in Settle for a couple of hours.  Blob and Winefride had unexpected adventures on the trip.  They rode on the swing and played with bubbles.  And they got to sit on lots of things that they never would have expected to find in a little town in Yorkshire.  On the way back Blob's creator encouraged Blob's person to paddle in the river.  Blob decided not to repeat his swimming experience from Salford because he was frightened that the strong current would wash away someone as small as he is.  Winefride went out into the river with Blob's creator and enjoyed herself and wasn't allowed to go into the water.  She was held tightly.

Blob will write lots about the day eventually.  He went mountain climbing in the morning on a rock face.  He walked in the countryside with Winefride.  And the two of them even climbed Mount Everest.  They have a picture to prove it.

For today, with so little time for writing, here's just one picture taken in Settle.  It's self explanatory.

Blob might include that picture again on another day because it was quite an adventure to sit on top of such a thing.  Blob found that it was quite a friendly Dalek and was happy to let him sit there.  The Dalek had even followed Blob's instructions and done whatever he asked.  It wasn't forced to do it.  The Dalek chose to do it.  Blob enjoyed himself so much up there.  He even got to say exterminate.  He then said "Detonate the mines" before realising that he had strayed into quoting Flash Gordon, a character who never fought a Dalek on film.  Blob didn't get the Dalek to exterminate anyone of course.  That would have been mean.

Blob will be home tomorrow night so should be able to write a proper blog post in two day's time.  He knows he still needs to finish the story of his library adventure.  And there are a vast number of other adventures too.  Maybe next he will tell the tale of how he and Winefride got arrested.



[462 words. Which is much more the length post that was envisaged when Blob's person started a blog for him.]

Blob Thing Meets Some Friends At The Literary and Philosophical Library

Blob Thing was having ever such a good time at the Literary and Philosophical Society Library.  He was glad that plans had changed and that he hadn't been taken to the cathedral that day, although he's very glad to have visited the cathedral since then.  While the Lit and Phil wasn't quite so grand as the library he had visited less than a fortnight before - the Sir John Rylands Library in Manchester - Blob thought the Lit and Phil was a lot more comfortable.  This was the kind of place that a small soft toy friend like Blob could wander into and relax in and maybe find even more people as friendly as those who helped with the tea making.  It was a place he knew he could return to and sit with a book or help his person write stories.  The Manchester library was very grand and Blob was glad to have visited as a tourist - it was quite the adventure - but unless he became a famous scholar it wasn't the sort of place he would have wanted to be for relaxation.

Having drunk his tea and helped his person eat her biscuits, Blob was quite chilled.  He wanted to explore the library some more before they left it to attempt at least a second job in the city centre.  Blob's person felt a lot better too.  This had been a great place to come and drink tea.  It was quiet and bright and friendly and there were even some comfy chairs.  Blob says that it's a mystery to him why they haven't been back yet.  Yes, the cathedral refectory has been a good place to sit recently and yes, his person managed to write a little bit there, but surely the Lit and Phil would be a better place to visit with a pad of paper and a pen or with a laptop.  [Blob's person promises that they will return there soon and they will just sit and write and find ideas and prompts in the books around them.]

Blob began to walk around the shelves of the library.  There were so many of them and it would have been a struggle knowing which ones to look at if he hadn't had the time to look at them all.  There were all kinds of different subjects and some of the books were very old.  And then, right in the middle of the big room, Blob spotted something which filled his little heart with great joy.  And he happy flapped about it with all his strength and all the freedom of a beautifully autistic Blob, proud to be himself.

He saw a children's library.  Blob Thing thought this was a shining brilliance at the centre of the library.  He likes it that children are placed in the centre.  It's where they belong.  Blob enjoys adult books.  He does.  He has probably read as many of his person's books as she has read and could teach her all kinds of things if she only bothered to ask him.  He's a very literate soft toy friend.  But he's also a child.  He's only seven and a half months old so if he were human rather than toy then he wouldn't even have to buy a child ticket yet.  Blob's person hasn't got very many children's books.  There are some in the house that he likes.  Lots of stories by Dr. Seuss.  And she has some books for older children and is happy to tell you how brilliant the Skulduggery Pleasant series is and how everyone should read it unless they're an evangelical Christian.  She knows of one Christian who started reading the first book of that series and decided the best thing to do would be to stop reading and burn the book.  It's the only book that Christian has ever burned so it must be implausibly terrible.

Blob would like to have a few more picture books, especially for his sister Winefride.  She's non-verbal.  She isn't stupid but she hasn't yet learned how to read difficult books.  Blob finds that Dr Seuss helps her a lot and she really likes the way the rhymes sound when he reads those books to her.  He hopes one day soon that he and his person can teach Winefride to use some form of augmented or alternative communication.  That would make things a lot easier, especially for Winefride, who sometimes gets a bit frustrated if Blob's person doesn't quite understand her.

Blob was very happy indeed to see this Children's Corner.  He was a little confused though as to how it could be a corner when it was right in the middle of the big room.

Blob enjoyed looking at all the children's books.  He knows that the city library has a children's section too and is, at this moment, asking his person why they haven't taken Winefride there to choose some books.  Then they could sit at home and Blob thinks that some simple books like that would really help his sister.  It's all very well taking her for fun days out but she needs to be helped to be the best possible version of herself that could ever be, just like Blob has become more than he ever believed possible.

Blob Thing also enjoyed making some new friends in the library.  He wondered if this girl was going to be his friend but as he approached he discovered that she was just a cardboard model of a girl rather than being a real friend.  But it turned out okay.  Because while the friendly girl wasn't a friend, sitting in front of her was a friend.  A real one.  A very lovely bear.  He had a lot of stories to tell about life in the library and he thought for a minute that Blob had come to live there too.  The bear was a little sad to learn that Blob was just visiting and thought that they could have had great fun there together.  Blob said that next time he's in the library he'll come and say hello to the bear again.  That might be one of the reasons why he's so keen to return.

There were other friends to find too.  Blob found them chatting on one of the shelves of the library.  It's a good library like that.  There aren't lots of signs everywhere warning people that they have to be completely silent.  The rabbit and the frog.  Blob thinks they said their names were Peter and Jeremy but he's not quite sure.  He was very brave and went to say hello to them and they had a good talk about the library and about the shelf they were sitting on.  Blob Thing likes the sound of a book called "When We Were Very Young" because he is very young.  And he likes the sound of a book called "The Wind in the Willows" because he knows he would like listening to the sound of wind in the willows if he was in a forest of willow trees on a windy day.

Here's Blob posing.  He's amazingly good at posing.  He was just leaving the children's library and wanted this picture because it could have lots of books, a statue, a savage book - which Blob's person says is written by a quite local author - and, most importantly, the smile of Blob himself.

The visit to the Lit and Phil was proving to be fantastic.  Blob just wanted to have a quick walk around the rest of the shelves and then leave the library until another day.  That would be something to look forward to.

A note.  Blob Thing has managed to write his blog every single day for seventy-four days.  There will probably be some gaps from this point on.  Early tomorrow morning he's going to a four day conference for autistic people so may not have time for writing.  And then he's going to a four day conference for Christian people even though he's never been a Christian and his person isn't a Christian any more.  And then he's got to go to Sussex for his person's family commitments.  All in all, there might be lots of days missed in the last month.  But he'll try to write as often as he can.



[1388 words]

Blob Thing Drinks Tea In the Literary and Philosophical Society Library

Blob Thing and his person were wandering in Newcastle city centre.  They had successfully completed at least one of the jobs they had to do that day and for Blob's person that was enough.  She was tired and the streets were noisy with sound, movement, light and smell and it was all getting to be too much.  But Blob didn't want to go home just yet.  He wanted adventures.  He wanted to see something new.  Or at least to go somewhere quiet where he could share a drink with his person.  He told her that a quiet cafe would be just the thing and that it would help both of them - because Blob was getting a bit overwhelmed too but didn't quite want to admit it.  Blob's person agreed.  As long as they could go to a cafe with at least some natural light.  With no music playing.  And with a comfy chair.  She decided that they could go and see whether the refectory in St. Nicholas Cathedral was quiet that day.  Maybe there would be space on the sofas at the end of the room.  That would be good.  If the refectory was too much then they could sit together for a while in the cathedral and that would be good too.

Blob Thing was pleased with that.  He had never been to the cathedral before.  He hadn't liked Durham cathedral because he couldn't have pictures of himself taken there.  His person assured him that it wouldn't be a problem in Newcastle.  No stern looking man in robes would swoop down upon him and tell him off.  Blob liked the sound of Newcastle Anglican Cathedral.  Blob's person also told him that if they did see any of the staff members there then it was okay because they were all very friendly.

To the cathedral.  A fine idea.  Maybe Blob and his person would calm enough that they could get at least two of their jobs done that day.

But then Blob's person changed her plans.  Suddenly.  Without warning.  Blob got a bit anxious about that be she assured him that her new plan was just as good.  She said that Blob would enjoy himself with the new plan and have quite an adventure.  They might even drink tea in a place where she had never drunk tea before.  The pair stopped outside a big doorway and on the wall was a sign saying "Literary And Philosophical Library."  A library.  Blob likes books.  But he wasn't sure that he would be able to have "quite an adventure" in one.  He might look at a book but Blob Thing isn't a member of any library and he doesn't think that most libraries would allow him to join.  He doesn't have any official forms of identification and most libraries say you need them in order to borrow a book.  Blob's person said it was okay.

Then she confused Blob a little more.  She said that she wasn't a member of his library.  It cost money to join and she hasn't got much of that and doesn't know whether she would use the library enough to make it worthwhile.  With hundreds of unread books and unlistened CDs at home it would be unlikely that she would borrow piles of books.  She would quite like to join one day though.  Blob thought all this was very strange.  Why would his person be taking him into a library when they couldn't even borrow books?  Very strange indeed.

His person assured him firmly.  This would be "quite an adventure."  She promised him that he would enjoy himself and would probably want to go back.  [Blob's person wants to go back.  It would be a pleasing place to sit and read and write and make notes and play with pieces of paper in an effort to write something more substantial or of higher quality than Blob's blog.]  Blob is shocked.  How could his person have said anything like that?  His blog is amazing.  At least he thinks so.  It's unique too.  What other person from his species has a blog?  Nobody.  [Ah yes, but that's not a fair question is it Blob?  There are only two people in your entire species, you and Winefride, and she hasn't got a blog and can't communicate enough to be able to write one.  It would have to be written entirely for her, a photo and a description.  That would be okay though.  That's what your blog was meant to be before you took over.]  Blob admits the question wasn't fair.  But he still thinks his blog is amazing.

The pair walked up the steps and through the door and into a very impressive entrance hall filled with portraits of people, statues and a grand staircase.  This was a library?  What kind of library could this be?  Blob's person said that it wasn't quite like the main city library they go to sometimes.  It was a little bit like the library he visited in Manchester - in an adventure he hasn't yet told you about.  That was an amazing day.  He saw the library, those sheep he talked about in a recent post, a long walk by a canal, bridges, a very posh place for drinking, an amazing building containing a war museum, and even a visit to the actual Blue Peter garden, which is much smaller than you probably think.

At the top of the stairs Blob stopped for a photo.  This hall was amazing and he wondered who all the people were, why they were all men not women or non-binary gender people, and whether if he was better at magic he could draw them all out of the paintings and they could enjoy a tea party or go and eat ice cream by the sea or perhaps they would all write a guest post for Blob's blog.  It would be excellent if Blob and that man in uniform could write a post together about an adventure in a sea battle.

And then Blob walked through the door into the main library.  His mouth opened wide with amazement.  Yes, it can do that.  There's just no photographic evidence because Blob likes to smile his best smile for photos.  The Literary and Philosophical Society Library was truly a place where adventures might happen.  Blob Thing wondered why he had never been to this place before.  It was truly a marvel.  Marvellous enough for a blog post.  Marvellous enough for three of them.  All those books.  All those shelves.  Blob got quite excited by it all.  You can possibly tell from his face here.

Blob Thing made his way further down the library and kept gasping at the sight.  This was worth it.  But would the toilet be as ancient as the one they found in the Manchester library?  Could anything be quite that ancient?  [Yes Blob something could.  Remember that piece of papyrus you saw in Manchester, the oldest surviving piece of the New Testament in the world.  That was much more ancient than the toilet.  Now get on with talking about the Lit and Phil.]

This place was amazing.  Blob wanted to see it all.  He wanted to jump about and climb to the very tops of the shelves on the upper floor and see what the books were.  Some of them looked very old indeed and he thought they would probably smell amazing.  Ooh yes, he would love to take those books, open them, get in close and take in deep breaths and inhale the gorgeous scents of the different papers.  He would love to feel the surface of the paper if it wasn't quite flat and press himself against the page edges and fall into the experience.  Blob wants to go back and do that.  His person says they can do it but only if he is very careful not to damage any of the pages when pressing against them.

And there at the end of the room, near the entrance to another big room, was a place to get tea.  There was even someone there to make it for them.  The people said to help themselves to biscuits too and to have however many they wanted.  It was lovely.  This was a place with no music playing.  It was a place with lots and lots of natural light from above.  And it was a place with somewhere comfy to sit.

Blob Thing was very happy that he hadn't gone to the cathedral that day.  He decided he wanted to visit it sometime - and he has visited it since and had a good time.  But for that day, the Lit and Phil had been a superb choice.  Well done my person!

What an amazing place for a cup of tea.  Blob wants to drink more tea there and wants his person to go and sit and write there.  Maybe eventually she will go there so much that she joins the library.  She says that lots of events happen there and Blob could even go and learn about the art of bookbinding.  For that first visit though, a cup of tea was sufficient.  And three biscuits.  Blob suspects his person actually wanted more than three biscuits.  He thinks she would have wanted an entire packet.  He suspects that three was the maximum number of biscuits she judged to be polite.

Blob and his person felt a lot better.  This was a fine place and by the end of the cup of tea they didn't feel so overwhelmed.  Perhaps they would manage to get a second job done.  Maybe even a third if things went really well.  How could anyone fail to feel better with a cup of tea and when surrounded with books in a gorgeous building?

They would go back out into the city.  Into the maelstrom of different sensory noises.  The energy gained from the library would make it possible.  But first Blob thing wanted to explore some more.  He found himself an adventure in the adventure library.  Today he hasn't got time to talk about it so that will have to wait until his next post.  And then he plans another post with pictures of himself walking round the library and in that post he wants to talk a little bit about the library itself.  What it is, why it is, why it has such a long name, and the astounding connection between the library and light bulbs.



[1745 words]

Blob Thing Watches Salford Quays Become Dark And Goes For A Swim

After watching the funny version of The 39 Steps at the theatre, Blob had a bit of time to relax in the relative tranquility of Salford Quays as the night drew in and as the time grew ever closer to the departure time of a bus.  He almost didn't start writing this post today.  The 1935 Hitchcock movie version of The 39 Steps is on the television right at this moment and he was tempted to sit and watch that.  But he knows if stayed and watch his blog might not get written and he's not got a lot of time to write it today anyway.

Today Blob Thing and his person are going to Beamish Open Air Museum.  They might not be able to look at much because they're going there to do some singing.  It's been a long time since either of them managed to sing.  It usually takes place in the evenings and Blob's person hasn't been good at evenings recently.  Today there is during the day singing and Blob has arranged a lift to the museum so that makes things a lot easier.  Blob Thing has never been to Beamish.  He wants to see it.  His person hasn't been to Beamish since she was a little person.  She wants to see it too and is glad of this day because she will be able to see some of it and not pay for a ticket.  Then Blob can decide whether they should go back and spend money.  He could probably have lots and lots of adventures there.

Blob hopes that the singing will be fun.  He enjoyed it last time.  He enjoyed it so much that he blogged about it immediately.  The second and third posts on his blog are both about Shape Note Singing.  He's looking forward to it and hopes that his person will cope with the day.  He would prefer to sing than to spend the day looking after his person.  Blob says that he's going to be very strict with her.  If she's not coping she must leave.  There's a bus back to Newcastle.  He hopes that won't happen though and they'll have a wonderful time.

Back to Salford.  Briefly.  There's no time for more than brief.  [Unless you only write some now and then write some more later Blob, we could do that.]

Blob thought it was ever so pretty.  The buildings weren't ugly.  At least some of them weren't.  They weren't all straight lines or bare cuboids of concrete rising half a mile into the sky.  Some of them had very interesting shapes and they made lovely patterns in the water as the light faded.  Some of these pictures don't show the light well - Blob's person's camera isn't perfect with light levels and sometimes does funny things.  Blob looked at the reflections and wished he could play in them.  Splash about on the walls of the buildings spread out across the water.

The buildings were all different shapes and sizes as if a different child had built each building out of Lego or Stickle Bricks or cardboard boxes and just plonked them down wherever they could find a space.  Blob's person told him that just over there was where a lot of television programmes were made.  Blob Thing has never been on television.  One day he might.  He would like to write a book one day and maybe his books would sell millions of copies and be made into blockbuster movies like The 39 Steps and he would be famous enough to return to Salford Quays and actually go into one of the buildings, climb to the top and look at the view before abseiling back to the ground.  From the way he's talking it's almost as if Blob is more excited by the thought of looking at a view than he is about fame and the blockbuster movie.  Blob has sensible priorities.

Here's a picture Blob thing loves.  It's of his creator.

Blob Thing stood be the water and marvelled at the place.  He marvelled at the day too.  How could a day that had started so badly, with tears and grief and worry, have finished so well?

Blob Thing is writing this at the end of a day.  He talked about the singing at Beamish.  Well that didn't happen.  Well it did happen.  It just didn't happen for Blob or for his person.  Something went wrong with the sending and receiving of a simple message and that meant that Blob's person couldn't get to sing to day.  Blob was very disappointed for a while.  But his person said not to worry about it too much and that there would be other chances to sing again.  She said that they could go anyway and she would still take Blob and Winefride somewhere.  She just didn't know where.

She thought hard about it and decided that they could all go to Alnmouth and walk on the beach again.  Blob and Winefride had enjoyed that so much a few weeks before and their only disappointment was that they couldn't stay longer.  Blob's person said that together they could enjoy the beach and watch and listen to the sea and the waves.  And then if they had the time and energy they could walk along the coast to Boulmer or Craster.  Blob watched his person find the map and the bus timetables and put them all in the bag, already packed for singing.  He was glad to see that she was sensible enough to take out the heavy singing book.  Carrying that along the beach would have been hard work.

The three companions left the house on this alternative adventure.  The day was still a day.  And although the original plans had gone completely wrong that didn't mean the day was spoiled.  They would find new adventures, make new plans, and live the day.

They got on the Metro to take them to where they would catch the bus to Alnmouth.  And then, to Blob's surprise and horror they didn't get off the train.  What could his person be up to now?  Had she forgotten about the beach?  Had she forgotten about promised adventures?  Maybe.  Or maybe she had suddenly decided to go to Sunderland and join the people standing up against racism and the nasty, bigoted racists of the English Infidels and the English Defence League - people whose grasp of what the word "English" means seemed to be totally incorrect and whose driving force seemed to be a hatred of anything and anyone telling them they might be wrong.  But no.  Blob's person wasn't doing that.  Today it would have been far too much for her to cope with.

Instead they got off the Metro in the city centre and walked to a bus station to get a random bus.  They were very lucky because there was a bus there already and it was due to leave in less than two minutes.  Blob will tell you about the adventures he had with Winefride today.  But not today.  Today's adventures will have to wait.

[Oh, alright Blob, just one photo, just one.]  Here is a surprise picture.  It's as much a surprise to Blob's person as it is the Blob and his sister.  She hadn't planned to visit this place until the bus had nearly passed the bus stop in the nearby village.  This is a picture of Blob and Winefride.  They're standing on Hadrian's Wall.  A terribly exciting surprise for them.  They hadn't dreamed that they would be doing anything like that today.  True, it's not the wildest part of the wall but it is the wall and they were happy there.  One day Blob's person promises to take them to explore the whole wall.

No singing today.  But Hadrian's Wall.  The day worked out okay after all.

Just as that day in the past worked out that began with Blob's tears and total worry in Newcastle and ended under the skies of Salford.

One last picture of that day.  There was a swimming event going on that evening.  People were jumping or climbing into the water and swimming in it.  Nobody could quite work out whether this was a competitive event or whether everyone was just doing it for fun.  Blob Thing wanted to join in too.  So he borrowed a swimming cap from one of the swimmers and gingerly slid into the water.  It was ever so cold and ever so wet and Blob didn't particularly like how it felt.  Nevertheless, he was determined.  So he swam all the way to the far end of the water, stopped for a rest and then swam all the way back.  That's quite a feat.  It's a long swim.  It's an even longer swim when your general anatomical form is that of a blob, with no arms and no legs and no limbs of any variety.  For a Blob to swim is amazing.  [Blob's person it under the impression that he didn't swim at all but is using his imagination at this point.]

Blob Thing was ever so proud of himself and if he hadn't stopped for the rest he would probably have got the fastest time and come home with a bit cup proclaiming him to be the Salford Quays swimming champion of 2016 and he would get on television and get a sponsorship deal and have enough spare money to go on a world cruise or fly a rocket to another star or do something more useful like solve world hunger and put an end to the prejudice that some people showed in Sunderland today - much to the horror Blob is sure of most of the people who actually live in the city.

Here is Blob Thing relaxing after his swim.  It was an experience.  But it's not one he wants to repeat in a hurry.  He doesn't want to train for the 2020 Olympics and enter as part of the Independent Soft Toy Nation team.  Swimming isn't his thing.  The water leaves him far too soggy.  [Blob's person thinks that this photo wasn't taken after Blob's swim.  It was just taken when Blob borrowed a swimming cap.  But you can decide for yourself whether this story is just the product of his active and creative mind or whether he swam for glory that night.]

[1728 words]

Blob Thing Meets Lowry And Scales The 39 Steps

Blob Thing wasn't happy with his person.

First she went out without him.

Then she hijacked the computer and wrote her own words about something before even thinking about him and his blog.

And then she claimed to be too exhausted by the day to be able to type anything on his behalf.  She really is tired.  Being out today was hard for her even though she accidentally met a nice person and even though she bought yet another friend - liberating it from a shop.  Her new friend now joins the ranks of freed friends and is no longer classed as property.  He's a hippo and he's very soft.  Blob thinks that Buttons the Hippo is a fine addition to the friends in his house.  He guesses that Buttons will get on very well with Gerry the Giraffe.

Blob Thing wonders whether his person would be less tired if he had been with her when she was out.  Then they could have looked after each other.  He also wonders whether she should have helped him with his blog before getting on and writing her own.  Blob's person says that actually she wants to write other things and not just help out with Blob's blog.  She's happy to help him but there are stories to be written and photos to be posted and thoughts to be expressed.

Blob became a lot happier with his person when she agreed to help write this post.  He got up this morning greatly looking forward to writing about this adventure.  And then his person did something else.  Not anything important.  She wasn't functioning all that well this morning.  She went out though to do three very specific jobs.  And she successfully did one of them.  She couldn't cope with thinking about the second and completely forgot the third.  Never mind.  Next time Blob Thing says that he will be there to help.

He wants to get on with the adventure now, conscious of the fact that his person is very short of mental energy and that if he doesn't begin now she'll just stop typing and curl up in a ball.  Blob says that later she should pull the curtain, lie down on cushions and blankets and get Ann to light up the ceiling.  Ann is good at lighting up this ceiling.  She's a unicorn.  Blob says that he wants to introduce his friends on his blog once he and Winefride get back from their autism conference.

Blob Thing and his person had arrived in Manchester to stay with Blob's creator and after some food they were going to go back out again.  Blob was so pleased.  That morning he had been in his Newcastle home, crying copious quantities of tears.  And now here he was in Manchester about to go out on an adventure.

Blob's creator told him that they were going to go out to a place called The Lowry.  They weren't going to meet the painter there whose paintings are hung almost unnoticed in an art gallery cafe in Newcastle.  The painter wasn't going to be there.  They were only going to a place named after the painter.  It was a theatre.

Blob got very excited.  The last time he had been in a theatre was in Manchester too and on that occasion he had been able to walk on the stage.  He's already posted about that day and the round and round stage he trod on and about how illogical he found the security guard at the theatre.  Blob's person told him that it was very unlikely he would be able to be on stage that night.  He wouldn't get close to the stage at all.

The trio got to the theatre in time for the beginning of the show.  Yesterday Blob laughed at his person because she set off so early for to catch the coach.  Well today he is amused at how early she wanted to set off in order to get to the theatre on time.  She tells him of times that she didn't set off quite so early as she wanted and how everything went wrong.  But Blob hasn't quite got over waiting for the coach in Newcastle for over an hour.  It's not the only time that's happened either.  In any case, that evening they were all at the theatre in good time.

The seat was very good and very comfy and the view was excellent.  Blob's person had booked the tickets and she had done well.  Their seats were on a balcony level.  But they were in the front of the balcony and right in front of the middle of the stage.  She said that she hadn't really done that well.  It had just happened that those seats were the best available.

It was all very exciting and Blob was pleased to be there.  Blob's person and creator were pleased to be there too.

Blob had to be held very carefully.  He didn't want to fall off the balcony.

The play was called The 39 Steps.  Blob's person said that she knew some of the story because she had read the book, seen three movie versions, and also seen a television series.  She said it was about spies and danger and action and adventure and assured Blob that he would enjoy it.  She also said that this production would be a bit different from all those movies.  For a start there were over one hundred characters but they would all be played by only four people.  And while the movies had all been quite serious, the poster for this show said that it was very funny.  Blob's person didn't quite know what it would be like and didn't tell Blob much of the plot.  He could find out for himself.

It was ever so enjoyable.  Blob had never seen anything like it in his life.  An actor would be one character and would almost instantly transform to be another character.  It was amazing.  There were chases and thrills and romance and train rides and even a theatre within a theatre.  And it was funny and Blob chuckled to himself all the way through.

Blob Thing enjoys the theatre and hopes to go to see another show soon.   He's very fortunate because he doesn't need to buy a ticket.  Next time he wants to take Winefride with him.  As long as the material isn't too mature.  He felt that some of the things in The Night Watch had been far too mature for him - if sex things are a sign of maturity, which Blob Thing doubts.  But there didn't seem to be anything like that in The 39 Steps even if there were some jokes he didn't really understand.  The poster was right.  The show had been for the whole family.  A family of three.  Blob.  His person.  And his creator.  Next time it'll be for a family of four.  Maybe they can even take another friend too.  The red panda or the slow loris would surely love a trip to the theatre.

After the show was over the trio left the theatre.  On the way they passed some very strange people.  One of them was doing something quite bizarre and when asked why he was behaving in such a curious manner he said it was because he was an actor.  Everyone with him laughed a lot about that.  Blob, his person, and his creator couldn't begin to understand why they were laughing.  Surely being an actor doesn't mean that you behave in curious, bizarre manners when leaving a theatre.  Unless there are rules for actors that Blob doesn't know about.  It was all pretty incomprehensible.

The three people, behaving an a manner less bizarre, walked out of the building.  It was then that they discovered several things:

1.  The sun was setting and it was starting to get dark.

2.  It was quite quiet compared to how much noise there had been when they entered the theatre.

3.  There was almost no wind.

4.  It felt warm.

5.  They all had to wait a while for the bus.

The bus stop was in a pretty place, between two big lakes.  Since there was a wait, there would be just enough time for another adventure.  Blob will tell you about that tomorrow.  For now, here's a photograph taken.  This is part of Salford Quays.  And in the diminishing light it was a gorgeous place to walk and sit and let calm arise after the excitements and laughters of the theatre.

[1426 words and a Blob's person slightly grouchy at the spell check that, even though she thinks she has set everything to understand British English - the English of England (although that's a variable thing too) - it still thinks that theatre isn't a real word.]