He promises that he will try to write less. He's feeling a bit sorry for anyone who has stuck with reading of his adventures all this time. He hadn't been expecting to be able to be so free when writing about them or that his person would allow him to get quite so carried away in talking about all kinds of other things. Today, less.
He thinks it might be an easy promise to keep. He is sitting here in Salford on a hot Sunday afternoon, dictating his ideas to his person and wondering why she never allows him to talk in the first person in his blog. Perhaps, he says, she should think about that. It's not as if he hasn't got a mind of his own. Blob says that he should be able to write, "I fought a dragon," or "I travelled on a boat," or "I think that there is an inner core within us all that is love and peace and that all people are fundamentally good." Blob says he should be able to write of "My creator" and "My person" rather than having to talk in the third person all the time. His person says that he is making a valid point. Just for today she's agreed to have a go at just typing whatever Blob Thing says to her. And so:
I am very tired at the moment. It's been a very long weekend and there have been so many exciting adventures. And I have to say that the most exciting thing of all is something that is already changing my life and I want to tell you all about it and I am going to but not today because I want there to be photos ready so I can do it properly but it is a very exciting thing and I think you'll all be thoroughly thrilled when you read and hear my news and and and and and and and and wheeeeeeeee and cha-cha-cha-cha-cha and and and
At this point Blob has stopped talking altogether and is happily flapping away. I, Blob's person have to agree about the news being very exciting indeed. I can quite understand his reaction. You will be able to see some problems inherent in this blog becoming a first person monologue. Blob writes long run on sentences. Sometimes he gets distracted halfway through the sentence. Through editing his words as I do, his ideas and his experiences are filtered into something which I hope is at least partially readable. A straight typed dictation might get very hard to read.
Right. Okay. Blob Thing is calmer now. We're going to try again.
I had a pretty perfect day in Hexagon. Apart from the bit when I got scared and overwhelmed. But you know what? Being scared doesn't need to ruin a whole day. And being overwhelmed is okay. Well, it's very not okay. But it doesn't have to become the focus of a day. I don't have to say, "My day was rubbish because this bit was horrible." My person had a horrible time a couple of days ago. In the past she might have said, "Oh dear, what a rubbish day" and focused in on the rubbish bits. But now she's learning to see the joy. Other things that day were great because she chose them. It's not that the rubbish bits weren't rubbish. I think they were. It's just that there is always more to be grateful for. And of course on that day I was feeling very grateful indeed because to the very exciting thing that's changing my life. I went dancing today. I'm going to share a video of that soon if I can.
Hexagon. Yes, Hexagon. It's not really called Hexagon of course. I just like the word. Really - and I haven't been allowing my person to say this but I am going to since it's the final post - really it's called Hexham. Hexham. It's a town in Northumberland and I liked it a lot and want to go back sometime soon and maybe find the river or walk along the river from somewhere else until we get to Hexham. I would enjoy that a lot. My person says that we'll go back. I think she might just want to go back to one of the charity shops where she bought herself two very pretty dresses. I want to walk by the river though and listen to the birds and the water and try to spot how many different types of flowers or grasses I can.
I was having a wonderful time exploring Hexham Abbey. It's a beautiful building with amazing stained glass. We were in a church yesterday that had beautiful glass and I wanted to be able to sit and gaze at it and take in every detail. There were so many and the colours were so rich and I hadn't spent enough time there but the people I was with seemed like they were in a hurry so I had to go. It was a fun town to be in and we all had a stunningly staggeringly sumptuous time in a playground there. All four of us. Ooh, perhaps that's a clue as to what the very very very very exciting thing was.
After visiting the crypt - and everyone should go and visit the crypt, EVERYONE, because it's so great - I asked my person if we could go and have a little look at the exhibition about the abbey. We might learn something or we might just see some pretty things. As it turned out I didn't learn anything much at all if I'm honest. We looked at lots of things and read lots of panels of information. But can I remember it all? No. No, no, no. I've forgotten the lot. It all felt very interesting at the time. My person says she's forgotten it too.
While walking in the abbey I had sat myself on a seat. It was like a Bishop's throne and as I sat I wondered what it would be like to be a bishop. I wondered too what I might wear if I was a bishop and whether they would be able to make those fancy clothes in my size. Here's me on the seat. I think I look good, as if I am telling some people about spiritual things and giving them tips on how to find the answers for themselves. Because the answers aren't just the words of a book. The answers aren't found in the quotes from others, no matter how amazingly beautiful and uplifting the quotes are. At least that's what I believe. I think all those books, and quotes, and stories, and all the legends and all the exciting things others have taught are all good. They can all help us a lot. Reading them and thinking about them is good too. But they don't actually contain the answers. Sorry. I'm not meant to be getting distracted. I'm not meant to be writing much. I am meant to just share a few pictures today. Sorry. It's just too easy to get distracted. There are so many awesome distractions.
Okay. Quick. Let's go. In the exhibition I got my change to learn what wearing ecclesiastical clothes would feel like. There was a dressing up section for children. And since I am child I wanted to dress up too. My person said that it might be a bit difficult due to my size but I insisted. I wanted to try it. What was the worst that could happen? And what was the best that could happen? The best won. It was a bit like applying Pascal's Wager to my life. Except application in the case of "should I try on a robe and see what happens?" seems to me to be far more valid than the original application of "should I believe in God and become a Christian." I don't think that version makes sense if anyone stops to think about it for longer than about six point eight nine two four one seconds and a little bit more.
So here I am, dressed up. As a bishop.
Wow, I look amazing. That style of hat suits me. I could be bishop. I could do it. Except to tell the truth I don't want the job. They can keep it, they're safe, I'm not applying. And I do have to say that if I was a bishop I'd have go get a hat that fit me. That one would keep falling down over my eyes or even over my entire body. And I think I'd have to get it made in a different colour. That one doesn't suit my fur tone at all.
After dressing as a bishop I got to dress up as a monk too. They have a very funny hairstyle and I was able to wear a wig with monk hair. I look at this and I want to laugh. I couldn't have a monk hairstyle. With my fur type it would be an impossible cut so the only way I could be a monk would be to be part of an order that didn't say you could only be part of the club if you got yourself a stupid haircut. I really don't think a stupid haircut would improve my relationship with any god or help me to pray or do good deeds. It would just make me look a bit daft and when I approached people would keep on saying, "Here comes that daft monk again with his silly haircut." My person gets stared at a lot and I think if I had that haircut I might be stared at almost as much as she gets stared at with a perfectly sensible haircut.
Finally, after seeing what a fun time I was having, I got my person to agree. She would have a go at dressing up too. I liked that. She's tried lots of new things recently. I held the camera and took a picture of her even though she was embarrassed and was finding it difficult to enter fully into the experience. Compare my facial expression with hers. She looks miserable. Miserable. Or perhaps minsterable. She's telling me that she wasn't miserable but she was going to the look of a solemn monk, on her way to a service or half way through a three hour Carthusian style marathon of singing plainchant the proper way. She says monks traditionally weren't meant to look happy or to boogie around to the music.
Apparently having fun when worshiping was seen as very disrespectful to God. Isn't that stupid? I would have thought it would be the other way round. Not having fun and not enjoying worshiping God is surely far more disrespectful to God. "I adore you God but that gives me a sad face" is a concept I don't understand. If it was me I would say "I adore you God and in the face of infinite love and in the face of all the hope my beliefs and doctrines and dogmas give me, I have this stunningly super smile on my face and I shout my Hallelujahs out with whooping and cheering because you're just so amazing." Not "You are my everything and I look as miserable as my person does in this picture."
Right. Okay. That's it. That's my day out in Hexham, or Hexagon as I've been calling it for a week. I hope you enjoyed at least something about it. If you've got to the end, very well done indeed. Give yourself a pat on the back if you can. Otherwise just smile internally and know that I'm very grateful for anyone to be willing to spend their free moments reading about a small pink soft toy.
From Hexham Abbey we walked back to the bus and went home. We'll go back though - but we say that about most of the places we have visited in the last few months. So I don't know when we'll have time to go back and there are a lot of other places we haven't visited at all yet. My life is very exciting. Most lives could be more exciting if only people would embrace the thrill of this amazing world.
Thank you for reading. We're going to have a rest now and then we're going to go and meet my creator at a train station and then come back and rest some more. Tomorrow I'll be going back to my Newcastle home. I'm sure that there will be lots of adventures for me there. They aren't waiting for me. Adventures don't lie in wait around corners - well sometimes they do, good and bad ones. Most adventures are the ones we make, not the ones we are given.
My challenge to you, if you're still here, is that you would sometime this week make an adventure. Go somewhere new. Do something new. Take a risk. But not a silly risk. And see what happens. It might be rubbish. But that's okay. You can try another new thing next week. But it might be good. It might be spectacular. And it might just change your life forever. Go for it. What's the worst that could happen? And what's the best that could happen? Yes. Go for it. Have an adventure.
I am sorry. I didn't keep me promise did I? I said I would try to write less than I have been. And then I wrote more. Maybe that's another danger of my person allowing me to just dictate every word. Maybe we should go back to the other way tomorrow and maybe try this again sometime. I'd like that even if I do talk lots and lots and lots and lots. Maybe I'll even learn to edit myself eventually. Hmmm. Perhaps not.
[2344 words, written in a state of much fatigue, by a Blob Thing who obviously has a lot more energy than his person]
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